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We’re on holiday abroad, my partner has been making me very tense throughout, I’m walking on eggshells all the time trying to keep things on an even keel – there’s so much wrong with the holiday and of course it’s all my fault.
Tonight he has finally blown up, I’ve had to leave him in a restaurant and take our girls back to our accommodation in a taxi. I’m now sitting here scared, just waiting for the fallout. He doesn’t often get physical but he’s verbally and mentally abusive and I’m terribly worried that I’m isolated here with two youngsters. I actually, really don’t know what to do. I’m putting a brave face on, saying that daddy just wanted to stay out. But he roared ‘f**** off’ at me whilst in the restaurant so everyone is anxious. He’s also had an awful lot to drink.
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I wish I could reach out and give you a great big hug. So much of what you say reminds me of one of the final holidays with my ex . I can understand that feeling of being isolated and apprehensive especially with drink involved. I geew to hate going on holiday for that reason amongst others. Something that helped me was associating a word any random word to the sheer fear and helplessness i felt when he was being abusive in our hotel room ..when I got home I would associate that feeling to remind me of the need to break away. If you feel that you might be at risk of harm familiarise yourself with the hotel reception and in a crisis im sure they would help you. Please stay safe x*x
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Holidays were a nightmare. The abuser knows we are isolated and their behaviour often escalates. Drinking is not the probelem. He is. Can you get an early flight back with the children. Family holidays are supposed to be the most special happiest times. It just shows how dysfunctional things are if you cannot even enjoy that special time where there’s supposed to be no pressure. My ex used to just make up things to abuse me about. I was reading in my room on holiday once and he stormed in and raged about how anti social I was. Being with an abuser will suck the emotional life from you leaving you a shell. Keep your mobile on you at all times. Get the local emergency services number and don’t be afraid to use it. He can be prosecuted in this country now for domestic abuse he commits abroad (depending on which country). You do not need to live like this. Let the hotel reception know you are fearful. Speak out. Abusers thrive on our silence. I spent a lifetime defending and protecting my abuser. Don’t make the same mistake I did x
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