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    • #92399
      dancing in the rain
      Participant

      On my way back home after a long weekend at my parents. I feel sick withe anxiety of going back there.My daughter says he has been fine, of course he has with her…. She says he’s bought me a present…Hes been sendingvlots of cheery texts likebhevdoes when mr nice is at home……
      Thinking I’ll try and stay til after Christmas but I’m going to suggest we each write down 10 things we want the other to stop doing or to do more of and seebhow well he manages over the next 6 weeks. He has said he doesnt know wwhat he does wrong and he wants us to try and be nice to eachotherso lets see how he does…..
      After Christmas I plan to book an airbnb for a month as a sort of staging post to seperating.
      Seeing a solicitor tomorrow for some guidance

    • #92402
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      It’s classic abuser to suggest you both have things to work on. My ex did it all the time. But the only person who’s ever said I’m violent and abusive with mental problems is him. I have a house and friends and family and a job. He’s an unemployed, homeless addict whose family don’t speak to him.

      Don’t let him make you think you’ve done wrong.

    • #92405
      fizzylem
      Participant

      I remember this, trying deseprately to find ways to communicate so he could adjust his behaviour, things is, as an adult we all know how to treat others hey, what’s ok and what isn’t – we wouldn’t have any friends if we didn’t. Its like trying to teach a 7yr old respect isn’t it. Thing is, you shouldn’t have to do it – you will only drive yourself insane, was it Einstein that said the defintion of maddness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? Like he said, he just doesn’t get it, cant see the problems his behaviour creates for others – likely because he struggles with empathy and is egocentric – can only see the world from his own point of view. To him you are the problem because you’re not accepting of him, giving him hassle, but for you his behaviour is intolerable and you’re simply trying to communicate clearly what it is you need so that he can respond.

      Sounds like you know how this is going to go, suspect you’ve been here 100 times already. A month away sounds like the best idea ever! x

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