Feeling sick at what I found out today

[phantasmagorical]

Hi all,

I haven’t been on here in a while. I’ve been kind of numb and just trying to build a routine back up. Today though I was really jolted out of that.

Found out via social media (based on a suggested profile, not one I actually follow) that he is seeing someone else. She’s barely out of high school which I find kind of disturbing. Not only that but apparently he has has a disease that I never knew about before, (detail removed by moderator)  (due to his illness he’s actually requested that his friends not be mad at him for what he’s done to me).

I spoke to a mutual who has been quite supportive of my side throughout this and apparently he hasn’t even told her about me (I guess that’s not surprising). Also that he seems to be changing his personality, again probably to mirror hers.

She’s really quite young and seems impressionable and naive. I think he’s chosen her for those very reasons, to make it easier to control and manipulate her.

The whole thing floored me but I’m having a big cup of tea now and trying to eat something, but he makes me so sick; I’ve spent most of today feeling like I’m going to throw up. What a horrible, creepy lowlife. My mum called him a predator and now I’m inclined to believe she was right.

[Confused123]

Hi HUn

HOpe u feeling better today, not sure if u are allowed to post but what is this disease he has that he thinks it gave him an excuse to abuse u . Just keep your distance away from him and looka fter yourself

[phantasmagorical]

Hello, I’m feeling a bit better. It’s just another thing that has to settle into my mind. Not sure I can reveal what the disease is without being really specific, but knowing he is justifying his behaviour because of it got into my head, and yesterday I was wondering if it could have been that. But I think that’s just another way of doubting myself and feeling worse. x

[Lisa]

Hi phantasmagorical,

Thanks for your post, it’s totally understandable that this has thrown you, any reminder of an abusive ex can trigger past trauma and pain. Also, it’s hurtful to see how quickly abusers can move on, but also saddening to know that this new girlfriend will also be subject to his abuse. This is why abusers find another partner so quickly, because of their need to control and have power over another person.

You have made the right decision to separate from him and to stay away. Keep focusing on looking after yourself,

Kind Regards,

Lisa

[phantasmagorical]

Thank you Lisa. He has moved on incredibly quickly and is already exploiting the trust of his teenage girlfriend. He once said I couldn’t be on my own (in other words suggesting I’m needy and dependent) when I think I do quite well. It’s him who needs someone but for all the wrong reasons. I think the further away I am from news of him and his life the better I will be, because I end up feeling dreadful whenever something comes up.

[Savingmyself]

Hiya
Gosh they use any excuse don’t they it’s properly not even true
They make up anything that suits them
Well done in getting away
I hope the young girl have good parents that see through him just like your mama did
Big hugs xx

[Author]

Posts