20th January 2016 at 11:17 pm #8062lilbirdParticipant
Hi there. Had to meet child’s teacher today and my ex came along. Feeling very down because the meeting went very well and my ex took interest. Started thinking this evening of how much my ex is missing out on our child’s schooling. Our child is coming up to that age in ‘big’ school where he needs to make some important decisions. I’m so so sad that things went so wrong and am thinking what if…x
21st January 2016 at 9:18 am #8074LisaMain Moderator
Thank you for your post. I just wanted to show you some support and to let you know that how you are feeling is very normal and natural. Of course what you wanted was a happy family and it is only human to think what if.. but with an abuser that was never going to happen. If you can get to a point where you can both support your child safely and without arguments then that is great but just remember it is not your fault that things went ‘wrong’… it is his fault for being abusive and any thoughts that perhaps you could have tried harder etc are not relevant when with an abuser as ‘trying harder’ in an abusive relationship simply translates as ‘staying silent’…
You have done brilliantly and been so strong. Keep holding your head up high. We are all here for you.
21st January 2016 at 10:46 am #8078Twisted SisterParticipant
its so good to ‘see you’ again, on the new forum, but sorry to hear you have been worrying about this latest development. What Lisa said has really hit home to me about ‘trying harder’. There isn’t anything you could have done to change things to a happy way for yourself and your boy, you weren’t going to be able to make him unabusive. Look at everything he ruined if you can, all that he has thrown away despite all your efforts to have a better life.
Thank you for replying on my ‘Refuge’ thread. Sending you lots of warm (((hugs))) you really have come such a long way away from him, and sometimes these meetings can send us a long way back and revisiting of our self-doubts i think, but you were right in coming as far as you have come, away from him.
warmest wishes ks x*x
21st January 2016 at 1:26 pm #8087Confused123Participant
Yes u do feel low when we get in these scenario, but again hun he choose to mis treat u , its cause of him that u can not live together, dont start thinking of if things could of been better,u tried your best , if he can be sensible and guide your child in future that s good, but keep your distance yourself , never forget why u left
21st January 2016 at 4:11 pm #8095SavingmyselfParticipant
What ever hoops they want you to jump through its never enough for them
Be safe and well and be so proud of your self for getting away from the abuse
They do not change
Big hugs xx
22nd January 2016 at 9:44 am #8128Confused123Participant
hi hope u feeling bit better today
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