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    • #146885
      Chocolatebunnie
      Participant

      I’m on my a few days out of this but everyday is contact he’s returning I know this is part of the problem

      I feel like I could cave in.

      Firstly I mustn’t for my children.

      Secondly I deserve better.

      I’m guessing I’m craving the buzz this relationship creates? Missing someone who has been truly cruel to me and our children, can’t be right?

      Please tell me this gets easier?

      My mind is fighting between I know he’s no good for me to I will never find someone who does this for me or that even sex I’m convincing myself he’s the only one. He has been for half of my life and I know it’s going to take time.

      Please tell me what you have found which has made your life better after leaving, anything positive?

      CB 💕

    • #146888
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Hi there hope you ok ? Well done for realising this person is no good for you and your family . I’ve been a few months out now , my ex was probably the first serious relationship I had , very intense , after going back more times than I care to remember I made the decision to finally call it a day , knew it would be hard , after a lot of harassment from him in the beginning which I ignored it all stopped . I can’t begin to tell you how much I’ve managed to achieve in such a short time away from my ex , no longer having to answer to him of my whereabouts or whom I’m with , how I spend my money , going to bed even when I want or getting up when I want . Your look back maybe not now and wonder how you lived that life with them for so long , your free ! Your day is your own , I’m not at the stage where I miss my ex as it was torture , I get few sad days , but more of the fact I didn’t deserve the treatment I got and the what could of been ? It’s natural to feel sad as it’s a loss of a relationship still the same despite the nature of it , it’s time invested, love & feelings , give yourself time , try and do things you couldn’t do when you we’re together, it does get easier , take each day as a new day , baby steps xx

    • #146890
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      What you’re feeling is totally natural. When someone gives up cigarettes they crave the nicotine even though it’s bad for them, don’t forget trauma bonding is a physical chemical addiction so that’s your body craving those chemicals. Then, be kind to yourself because even though it’s the right thing longterm to leave, it’s still a break up! You loved him, you had good times, you had dreams of a future and it’s ok to be sad about those. This is where people who haven’t suffered abuse often struggle because they think we should be happy all the time that he’s gone but you wouldn’t say that to non-abuse break ups. If he’s coming and going he’ll be pulling at those heart strings too, testing the water to see if you’re still possible to keep, showing off how well he’s doing maybe to make you jealous. Keep strong, keep posting and don’t forget it’s ok to be sad and wish things had tuned out differently- just don’t forget why you’ve ended it xx

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