feelings

[Worrywart]

hi i keep having days where i feel detached from reality …cant explain really, its like im kinda numb ….hope this is normal! …i found out that a couple of his exes had it bad with him too, have been chatting to them, and by the sounds of things i got off lightly compared to them, its not fair that he can just walk away, feel defeated and down 🙁

[KIP.]

Hi, trauma can make us dissociate. It feels kind of like an out of body feeling. Google dissociative episodes. You may feel defeated and down at the moment but you won’t always feel this way. I think you should shut the door firmly in his face now you have this opportunity. It may not feel like it just now but this is your get out of jail free card. Your opportunity to get rid of him once and for all. Take back control. You dictate the next move.

[Worrywart]

thanks KIP i cant seem to get him out of my head still for some reason and sometimes i feel scared, its like i’m waiting for him to do something its quite an eery feeling dont ask me why so odd …never felt like this ever before x

[Lisa]

Hi Worrywart,

I am sorry to read about how you are feeling. I just wanted to say it is perfectly normal to feel how you are feeling. It might be a good time for you to reach out to your GP and to your local Women’s Aid. You could try to phone the helpline too (leave a message with a safe time to call you back if it is busy) for some advice and support. I note that you say that you are feeling scared, perhaps make sure that you stress this and perhaps ask for a risk assessment and some safety planning. Are there any changes you can make to feel safer? Practical and emotional? If you feel physically at risk then perhaps consider a refuge where you can be safe.

We are all here for you so please keep posting to let us know how you are.

Kind regards,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Apricotpoppy]

Hi Worrywart, I agree with KIP even though it feels really difficult it sounds like you have been given a chance to be free.
However listen to your gut instincts, you can consider reporting the abuse to the police and asking an officer to check your home security. I found that very helpful. WA can assess your risk and discuss safety measures.
Also watch out as these abusers tend to try and charm you back in and then the abuse could get worse.
Grounding techniques or guided meditation can help you feel connected, even just going for a walk, or focusing on having a shower or massaging your hands with cream. Your GP could help and maybe counselling?

All the best and keep posting
Apricotpoppy xx

[Worrywart]

hi thanks Apricotpoppy i dont think he will try and worm his way back in as ive heard nothing from him in (detail removed by moderator) months …he has gone back with his ex from years before me, engaged and moving miles away to live with her all this happened 2 weeks after i dumped him after over 2 decades with me x

[Author]

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