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    • #125635
      Nodrama
      Participant

      Hello you amazingly strong women. Finally escaped after many years. He’s still dodging courts, yawn! He’s put me and daughter through hell since we left but we are free!!! As we had to sofa surf for (detail removed by Moderator) months we hadn’t anywhere to put our belongings, not that he allowed us to collect them! We grabbed what we could whilst petrified. It’s a few years now and I can’t see anyway that we can collect our belongings. Police can’t help, solicitor can’t help. I don’t care about material things but there’s certain things I can’t stop thinking about. My name is still on the deeds but he took my keys off me. I’m scared to knock on the door and don’t want to fuel his control by letting him know I want my things. My step sons have believed his lies so they don’t care nor will not help. I’ve never done them wrong, in fact the opposite. They’ve also been disgusting. It’s great to get away from that life but I’m still not free!

    • #125638
      beachhut
      Participant

      Hello,

      Sorry to hear of your situation, and know what it is like to leave your home and belongings, I did manage to persuade him to let a friend collect my private things for me but left the rest and had to start again. If you still have and interest in the house he is living in, it may be worth contacting Citizens Advice for some help, as you may be able to go onto the property if it is owned partly by you to collect what you want, you cannot burgle your own property and if you can prove ownership not steal your own property. It would be worth exploring this option and perhaps getting the help of a solicitor to write to him to if you wanted to do that.Hope this is of some help.

      Take care of you, beachhutXx

    • #125643
      Nodrama
      Participant

      Thank you beachhut.
      Awkward is not a strong enough word to describe him. I’ve given up trying to communicate with him, he enjoys the control. I will try CAB. He’s had a smear campaign against me so all family/friends have desserted us. These are people I’ve only ever loved and cared for, for years. It’s unreal how cruel he’s been. It’s become so clear now the games he’s played for years that I was blind to. Thanks again, take care X

    • #126199
      Camel
      Participant

      What court is he dodging? Divorce court?

      There is so much more to worry about than belongings.

      He made you and your daughter homeless. You can’t get into a property that you part own. It doesn’t actually matter whether you are married or not. His actions are illegal.

      You say it’s been years? Speak to your solicitor urgently and start proceedings to protect and divide your shared assets. Be clear about what you want. ‘Dodging court’ is also illegal and a judge would take a very dim view of this.

      Once you’ve got the legal ball rolling you can think about getting hold of your things, if you think it’s really worth the aggravation. But if it’s been years, what are the chances they’ll still be there? What condition will they be in? Ask yourself why these belongings matter so much and whether having them back will honestly make you happier.

      You owe it you and your daughter to cut all ties with this awful man and his family. You can’t properly move forward until then.

    • #126813
      Nodrama
      Participant

      Hi Camel, he’s dodging divorce court and a financial remedy. It’s taken me (detail removed by Moderator) yrs to get him to engage. He finally instructed a solicitor after being threatened with prison by the courts.
      Our belongings are very important to us as we’ve lost much already. Daughters sport trophies, photographs all things you can’t get back. It will all still be there so he can try and use it. Thank you for the advice.

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