Finally listening to my gut feelings and feeling my worth

[Aliceinwonderland]

I’ve been on here a while now in recovery from a long toxic relationship with a husband who had drink and substance issues, and a terrible temper. I did the freedom programme and intensive counselling which got me through the initial stages and I have been making a good life for myself and my 2 beautiful children. The difference it makes in the home- my home my rules: no eggshells to walk on. The kids have really adjusted so well.
I started dating apps and relationship that had lots of green flags and I was so convinced I ignored some red flags… the odd bit of hash, the odd week off work, then a bit of triangulation with his ex. Although this man is nowhere on the level of my ex husband. He’s kind, charming, sensitive I just decided actually it’s not good enough.
I want a better relationship than this and I know I deserve it. I have split with him and he’s sad, telling me we can get over these insecurities but I feel like he’s telling me to ignore my feelings. I have fought so hard for myself to get where I am and I have decided no man is worth more to me than I do to myself. This may sound a bit crazy, but I’m just not happy… I’m certain one day I will find that special person who I don’t doubt and doesn’t make me doubt myself.
I’ve also decided I will never use a dating app again, it’s just not for me. I will just be happy with what I’ve built so far and wait for that person to find me.
It’s immensely freeing and I will sleep so much better for it.

[HopeLifeJoy]

Hi aliceinwonderland
It was really refreshing reading your post, well done with your accomplishments with your children and home and what I loved the most is that your standards are now up there where only the best will be allowed entry into your life.
Well done for getting rid of this man who just wasn’t good enough for you, for having listen to your gut instincts, hurray for that 😄
I am out too since years but don’t like dating at all, never have, never will.
I believe if there is a man out there for me, i will meet him soon enough, right now honestly I am so busy rebuilding my life, I don’t have time for another person to be close to me.
Here’s to your freedom and independence! You go girl 💃

[HunkyDory]

Brilliant aliceinwonderland- great to read, well done listening to your instincts and believing in your self worth. As you said, you’ll know when it’s the right time xx

[Aliceinwonderland]

Thank you ladies, I think my self worth has been so low at times. But slowly realising it will never come from just having a boyfriend/ partner especially one that isn’t right for me. I need it to come from me for the time being. It’s so easy to get caught up in a relationship but the minute a man makes me doubt myself again I think I just need to show him the door and hope it doesn’t hit him in the backside on the way out x*x

[Efcharisto]

Thank you for your post. It is good to know that it’s ok to have a bit of time without a relationship. To be honest, I’ve been so deeply affected by everything I’ve been through, it’s good to remember that other women have gone through similar things and rebuilt their lives and begun to find happiness

[Author]

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