First Appointment

[xxxxhelpxxxx]

I’ve got my first appointment with a DA outreach advisor and wondered if anyone could give me pointers on what will happen? I was supposed to have one a week ago but the worker has gone off sick so I’ve got another appointment this week. I am really apprehensive about it if I’m quite honest. It’s all becoming a bit real, if that makes sense

[fizzylem]

My DA support worker has been the best support; it’s great that she simply gets it, all of it, whatever I say, no need to explain it. She’s also been able to sign post me to other things I’ve needed; and is really knowledgable. I couldn’t be more grateful for her support and it warms me to the core knowing she’s out there helping others.

I realise they are not all going to be as fab as this – I have read on here that sometimes they do get it wrong now and again; so if you’re not happy for any reason do speak up rather than drop it; we need to shape our support – and not expect others to get it right all of the time hey.

Hope you get someone like I did – couldn’t have got through this without her x

[Yellowflower]

Sorry ladies what’s a DA support worker? Is this a case worker from women’s aid? Xx

[EbonyRaven]

Generally the support worker is with a satellite organisation that helps and supports abused women. In my area we don’t have a WA but there’s other organisations that offer the same services.
Your support worker would be the same as a caseworker, that’s right.

[Yellowflower]

Thank you I have a case worker so similar then. I do find her not very helpful at allZ I haven’t heard from her in months xx

[xxxxhelpxxxx]

DA outreach worker is a domestic abuse worker from the local service. I’m looking forward to the meeting but also terrified of opening a can of worms

[Iwantmeback]

Hello xxxhelpxxx, my local WA have been amazing. Since I made the decision to leave I’ve been allocated my own support worker. From letting them know I was moving into my flat earlier than organised, she literally came after work and sat with me for 2 hours. They donbt judge or force you to do anything you don’t want to, even when there is still some contact they’re amazing. Well mine is anyway. She’s come to a few uc meetings and an assessment with me. Just knowing she’s on the end of the phone or that the service is there out of hours also is such a calming influence. I think in an other life we would have been friends too. She gets my sense of humour, is about my age as well. Tbh I feel safe with her.
Best wishes and it’s lovely to see your name again
IWMB 💞💞

[EbonyRaven]

I know how you feel Yellowflower. I’m on floating support because I am apparently coping so well and so strong. They don’t contact me at all, so it’s up to me to contact them. That’s where it falls down for me as I’ve always been the type of person who finds it nigh on impossible to ask for help. No idea why, probably some upbringing thing, my father was hugely keen on my being independent.

So I’m in the position where I soldier on until someone contacts me. I am strong, and I know that, however there are times I’d like someone to talk to. I feel like I’m bothering them though, like there are ladies who need that time with them far, far more that I do as I will carry on through it, continue doing my day to day stuff, going to work, not breaking down.

It’s been months since I went there. I know they are busy but it would be lovely if she rang me or emailed me now and again just to ask if I was ok.

This is why this forum is such a massive help for me. Everyone here chooses to be here and answers if they want to give that time, and have that time to give. So I don’t feel I’m wasting anyone’s time by posting.

[Lavenderrose]

How do you get a support worker? I’ve had to muddle through all this alone. My legal aid still hasn’t come through so I’m facing some costly legal bill. I’m awaiting housing and benefits too. Not great! Luckily this forum has been helpful xx

[EbonyRaven]

I asked my doctor to refer me for counselling/therapy. They referred me and the counselling service referred me to a local agency that runs the Freedom Programme and counselling. There I was allocated a support worker.

I understand that you can also self refer by contacting them.

[xxxxhelpxxxx]

I’ve seen my outreach worker twice now. It’s gone well. We’ve worked on the power and control circle, which was very enlightening. He keeps me in line by trying to control what I do, say or feel and if I step out of line there is the threat of physical or emotional violence. I had another meeting booked for a couple of weeks time.

He has been in a foul mood since I was at work last week and had to work with other people for two days. We’re still living in a hotel cos we can’t get a house because of his credit. Been there a month now and it’s a strain.

Friday night we went to get food late at night. There were some people spilled out into the road outside a nightclub. The bouncer was trying to move them and they didn’t move quickly enough for him so he knocked into one of them with his car wing mirror and shouted at them out of the window. He could have gone round them but decided not to. I was mortified and it has been preying on my mind ever since. Sorry, gone off track!

Anyway, I contacted my support worker during Friday and told her that I wanted out of the relationship and they have fitted me in early next week. The event on Friday night has convinced me even more.

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