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It’s been a while since I posted on here. I have gone from feeling sure to doubting myself, blaming myself, blaming him, saying I will file for divorce but then going for separation for now.
Leaving my beautiful children (detail removed by Moderator) was awful but the relief I feel leaves no doubt. The man I lived with (and am still married to) was controlling and manipulative. He used verbal abuse to dominate the family and I can see it much clearer now. I was told I wasn’t trying, I was told that maybe I need medication, maybe I am bipolar, it’s probably a midlife crisis, everyone thinks we’re fine and even our therapist says I am not trying.
He nearly destroyed my self worth.
Step one is separation, next I need to file for divorce. Our children are old enough to vote with their feet once we have separate homes. For now they are at the family home and we take turns living there.
My first night in my little (detail removed by Moderator) flat. I have already been smiling ear to ear immediately followed by tears. I can’t believe I am not with my babies. But I have to do this!
Emotional abuse is very dangerous. Don’t let them think you are crazy! Xxxxxxx -
Wow, this is amazing to read but I can imagine so difficult for you at the same time. I’m not sure how old your children are but is it possible your ex could stop you from seeing them somehow? I’ve read on the forum before of women advising other women to make sure they’re made the primary parent before handing children over for contact with their Father in case he doesn’t return them or something?
Enjoy the first night in your little flat, your own home where you can relax and no longer have to be bullied or abused. Amazing x -
Hi gettingtired,
Thank you for checking and for being concerned. We are separating with a 50/50 split in terms of looking after the children. I am not worried. Both our families know and support us. I have taken it slow to ensure that the separation does not bring out even worse sides. Honestly most people probably just think he’s a bit harsh and not very nice. Only I have felt the control and manipulation first hand.
It is a long road when you want out…
Thanks x*x
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