First Time

[Mum2]

Hi everyone, this is my first time using a Forum. I have been with my husband for (detail removed by Moderator) years now, the abuse started when I told him I was pregnant with our son just over (detail removed by Moderator) years ago, Physical, Emotional and Mental abuse, my depression and anxiety has got so much worse since being with him, the constant lies and signing up to dirty websites, he has got me at the point where I am writing everything down, dates and times of things that I have told him as I am constantly doubting myself, he has stripped away any confidence that I had, telling me that I’m such a bad mum, wife and friend. At this point in my life, I am in the process of trying to leave him but I’m finding it very hard to find the strength xx

[Watersprite]

Welcome mum2 – you are not alone on here. You are much further on than you realise already you can see this as what it is – abuse and you know you need to get out. You and your children deserve a life that is safe and free and happy. It is a big step keep taking notes as long as safe call women’s aid and maybe read Lundy bancroft why does he do that it’s an eye opener. I got out not been easy but the best thing I ever did for me and the children. It’s difficult so build a support network speak to your GP open up to safe people if you can. I wish you the very best and believe in you x

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi mum2,
Just wanted to say hello and well done for finding this forum and reaching out. I’m so glad I found it, everyone is so kind and understands. Reach out to womans aid and build some support for now and when you leave. Your not alone. Sending warm wishes, strength and hugs to you x

[Mum2]

Thank you so much for replying, I am in contact with Women’s Aid and they are helping me find other accommodation, they have been fantastic xx

[Seekingclarity1]

Hi there, I am also fully new to this and can fully understand how you feel as I also feel the same.
I know the right thing to do is leave, and I have points in the day where I am strong and think of my children and find the strength, then like now I find myself searching for comfort and strength from posts on here and the Internet.
My husband is refusing to leave, we gave three children in the house under (detail removed by moderator). Two are from my previous relationship. Many many things have happened but now he’s realising I’m strong and I’m leaving, he’s now crawling back, he is insisting on kissing me, sleeping in bed with me, holding me, speaking to me and I just want yo be left alone. I find it invasive and sickening that he isn’t listening, the other night I felt I was having a oit of body experience as I lay there feeling numb while he i suited in holding me and kissing my face. I just had no strength in me. Hes now threatening to kill himself. I’m getting some legal advice today as we are in a rented home and im not named in anything and he’s had all the locks changed and given me 1 key so I can’t never lock him out if I wanted to (not that I do) I just want him to go.

I’m sending u lots of hugs. We can do this. We have to xx

[TryingANewWay]

@Seekingclarity1 , Hi, I’m new too. I just wanted to say you can do this. My husband did exactly the same. Tried to carry on and pushed for sex as well as the kisses etc. He still hasn’t accepted the split and it has been a very long time now but I assure you that you are strong and can do this. I am still in a mess but as I said in my other post to mum2 I am late in accessing help but I can tell you being safe in bed at night from unwanted attention is amazing. You deserve that. Every woman does. I still have huge mountains to climb but your post has made me remember where I was and I am grateful for it as it shows how far you have come. You won’t think this but you have also come a long way. Stay strong and remember you can and will do this. x*x

[TryingANewWay]

Hi, @mum2 you are doing amazing and you will leave. It took me years to build up to it and I tried several times before I succeeded. In the end I realised he would never see sense and didn’t care about his effect on me and the kids only on his own feelings so I stopped listening to him try to talk me round and just kept repeating No. I had to listen to his crying, pleading, begging, shouting, outbursts, drunken rants and anything else he tried but in the end it was only one word I said. Take me back. No. I’m not sure if that helps and I’m still not in a great place but I was very late accessing help and have only joined this today. I’m sure some of the others can help more. And contacting WA is the best way. I wish I had years ago. Take care and remember you are already stronger than you think. xx

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