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    • #116441
      Onwardsupwards
      Participant

      Ok so I slit with him (detail removed by Moderator) or so ago. Things have felt great but suddenly I’m getting flashbacks! How do people deal with these?? Same of the worst events and memories refuse to leave me alone. It’s like videos playing in repeat in my head. I feel like I want to scream but I have to act ok for my kids.
      Is this normal?? Will it ever stop? 🙈🙈

    • #116445
      KIP.
      Participant

      It sounds very much like PTSD and I’d speak to your GP. I had a couple of weeks of euphoria when he was arrested and removed but then from nowhere the constant intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, nightmares, unable to sleep. It’s your brain feeling safe and how allowing you to process the trauma that it couldn’t process at the time. The rational part of the brain shuts down when we are in danger allowing the fight flight and freeze part to take over and keep us safe. Back to cave man days. So now your headspace is returning. Trauma robs us of memories too. So hopefully in time you will get good memories back too. Some counselling will help and maybe some medication on a temporary basis. Try to keep things simple, don’t take on any more stresses. Prioritise your day and only do the minimum to get through. I had to limit myself to 3 things a day which I know will be hard with kids. Lean on friends and family. Talk to the Samaritans if you have to talk. I went round telling everyone about the abuse, it was the PTSD. The more I told the better I felt. The Body Keeps The Score is a good book about trauma. Healing from Hidden Abuse is another good book. Talk to your local women’s aid for support too x

    • #116446
      Onwardsupwards
      Participant

      Thank you! I just feel so up and down. I’ve heard of PTSD and now you mention it I can see it’s possible. I think I will try to get round to talking to someone. I have been feeling the urge to scream it at his family some days!

    • #116457
      [email protected]
      Participant

      Hi I’m new here and I am also having flashbacks, vivid images at night, sleep with the light on and if out at night I have this overwhelming feeling that people are out to seriously injure me. I have to stop, turn and face people behind me and let them pass.
      I spoke with my GP and they have referred me to cognitive behavioral therapy but the waiting list is 5months plus. It’s awful to live with and my work are hardly sympathetic. It’s been (detail removed by Moderator) since he was removed and it is a slow process but I feel that the thing I do have control over is that I can make choices for myself without having to feel like I’m pleasing him anymore and that enables me to deal with the ptsd and concentrate on me. Use self help guides too. Good luck x

    • #116530
      Onwardsupwards
      Participant

      I feel like I’m going mad. Today one memory is harassing me something terrible. It is the first time there was a red flag, like it was being shoved in my face with a horn screaming get out!
      It was very soon into the relatuonship, I was very young and also been a bit of a Tom boy, play fighting and things. So that is what I was doing at that moment. But he pinned me to the ground and wouldn’t let me up. He was saying all sorts of odd things, then a friend came out and shouted me. He jumped up and said it was just a joke. But then when she’d gone he carried on. later he told me that it was just messing and he maintained that for years. But now I think it wasnt? I mean it’s not normal is it? I never questioned it before but it’s not a normal “joke”
      Feel better putting that down in writing, I hope this isn’t a problem.

    • #116532
      KIP.
      Participant

      Try to keep a journal. It really helps to get those thoughts out on paper. No it’s not okay to pin someone down and then excuse it as a joke. That’s a very typical excuse for an abuser. To disguise the abuse as a joke. Me ex used to say I was too sensitive 🙄. Have you read Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven?

    • #116556
      Watersprite
      Participant

      Mine said it was just one of his little jokes and that it’s all just a game 😢😢😢

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