24th December 2015 at 6:40 am #6550
I have just worked a video on YouTube from Melanie Tonia Evsns who is a surviver of abuse and now helps people in (detail removed by moderator).
It’s about Christmas time with an abuser it’s very good and helpful advice.
My ex was a nightmare this time of year or any special occasion – the build up to Christmas was he would moan about how many presents I brought, with my own money I might add, where we were going, what time we got up, what time we had sex, what time my kids would go to their dads, when his child would be there etc etc.
The day would normally be ok but I would watch and be carful of my own behaviour as to not upset him.
We would then go to and visit his family and my god this is where I would be isolated, in trouble, look like I’m the miserable one, be criticised by his family for loving him and showing him attention etc they are all horrible in their own way.
I didn’t like going every year to there houses but I went with it for him.
The last Christmas we spent together before all the stuff started with us splitting was in my opinion the best. We had everyone to our house over the 2 days. I made sure he was happy, I cooked, we played games (I was on his team of course) I stayed sitting on him and cuddling him etc. he seemed happy too. Then bang off we go to his family and he’s in s mood I asked him what was up and his reply was ‘you didn’t pay me enough attention’ I was sooooo shocked and couldn’t understand what on earth he was talking about – I them had the silent treatment, I felt alone and played with the kids. It was really embarrassing. My gut feeling was I need to get out of this relationship but I was in conflict because I loved him but I just knew…❤️
The next x amount months he played up moved out and made me pay big style. Then he came back we went away etc then bang again off he went with another women and then last Christmas I had a letter saying leave by end of December, I didn’t and I had a solicitor on board by then. He went away for new year which he knew I wanted to every year but no as we had to see his family, so now suddenly they are not important and she was or was my punishment the most important to him?
The last year has been awful and I left just under few months ago and this Christmas I am alone but with my family. after listening to Melanie’s YouTube about Christmas I feel a little brighter and wanted to share that with you.
Lots of love and stay safe
24th December 2015 at 6:42 am #6551
Sorry a few typo errors Watched a YouTube video Melanie Tonia Evans
24th December 2015 at 6:57 am #6552
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