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Writing this letter for my daughter.hope one day to show her.
Dear
Am writing this as it gets closer to ypur 18th birthday.it hurts so much knowing I won’t be there to see you or hug you.is harder being you are turning into an adult yourself.
I hope you never have to make the decision I did in leaving.maybe then you would have some understanding.
I gave you the choice but you chose to stay with your dad.that I understand but I also wish you understood that I didn’t walk away from you.i walked away from your father.no matter what he says you didn’t do anything wrong.
I wish our relationship could of been so very different.ypu don’t get how much I love you .and not a day goes by that I don’t think about you.
I hope one day we can rebuild our relationship .there is nothing more I would love.
All I want for you is your happiness.i hope as you start your life as an adult you will come to see that as an adult we have to make decisions that others may not understand , but still we have to make them for our own safety .
Love you always
Mum -
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We shouldn’t be the ones sitting without our daughters should we? Its very undeserved, it’s not right an so misunderstood how domestic abuse tears our closest relationships apart. Hopefully when she matures and maybe has children of her own she will see how hard it is to parent when your essentially being bullied in your own home xx 💕💕
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Maybe that came out wrong not that you would wish that for her xx
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Determinedtobefree I can relate. I think writing the letter is a very good idea. My friend said to me about my children that their fear of their abuser dad was as great as their love for me. Some children aren’t strong enough to take the repercussions of not staying on-side with abuser-dad. In my case I think my children know I will love them no matter what so its easier to take the chance to not be on my side so to speak. My children see their dad as very powerful in the family and extended family and his reality is still very much their reality. However the stronger I get and the more I heal away from being abused by him they maybe are start to seeing things as they are not as he manipulated things to be (I’ve heard it called the abuser’s echo chamber).
The truth is seen rarely heard. I agree with IWMB , keep getting strong and heal and lots of self-care and that’s the best thing you can do for your daughter. You also have shown your daughter that its not ok to be abused and you ended the abusive relationship. That is a great gift you have given your daughter (even if she can’t see it at the moment).
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IWMB 💕lover of no contact💕and determinedtobefree💕, I think we’ve all had to make tough decisions and it sound like our hands have been forced. I’m sure as time passes this won’t be such a taboo subject. I’m hoping the next generation won’t have to deal with this. Maybe we can shift that guilt and shame when people understand the complicated dynamics of domestic abuse. I was told once by someone children are like soup its what we put in that’s the end product. Very simple but also true. The thing is we tried our best and it wasn’t us that added the toxic ingredients xx I hope you are all ok 💕💕💕
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Thanks IWMB xx Yeh that always stuck with me. The man was really old. My own dad says with age we have gain a vast knowledge and a wealth of experience. So we have that to look forward to!! 😀 X*X
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