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    • #92753
      maddog
      Participant

      I haven’t heard anything that he’s allowed in the property so I was truly shocked to find my ex and his poor new GF leaving the garden. He’s not allowed in the propertymand I haven’t been told the injunction’s been lifted. It’s not a police injunction so they can’t do anything. It was horrible.

    • #92757
      Lavenderrose
      Participant

      In your garden as in watching you and stalking??? X

    • #92759
      KIP.
      Participant

      Yes, the police can do something. That’s extremely frightening for you. Definitely report him and ask them to warn him. It also gives you cause to extend any injunction you already have. Report everything. Keep pushing back.

    • #92761
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi there Maddog, I am sorry to hear about this, it must have been really frightening. I certainly would encourage you to let the police know if you haven’t done so already.

      If it is a type of civil injunction called a Non-Molestation order, and your ex partner has breached it, this can carry the powers of arrest. If it would be useful for you to find out more about the injunction, you could make contact with the specialist service for injunctions DV Assist

      Best wishes

      Lisa

    • #92771
      maddog
      Participant

      I’m not sure what kind of injunction it is, but he’s not allowed into the property and all communication has to be written as he doesn’t make sense and there needs to be a paper trail although that doesn’t make sense either. I’ll speak to my solicitor and find out what the hell’s going on. I don’t think they expected to see me. Oddly they didn’t have our daughter with them, but what on earth would she be doing going to have a walk around her own garden? I think the police need to know that the injunction is still in place, if it is. They have no record of it at the moment.

    • #92773
      [email protected]
      Participant

      Just a guess here but he was trying to say there was a drink problem? Not sure if that’s was what he was falsely alleging? Could he be looking through your recycling? Or bin with her to take photos? He does sound crazy and it is stalker behaviour xx

    • #92778
      maddog
      Participant

      The same thought had occurred to me, didymium. With any luck his new GF will recognise it as a massive red flag to go prowling around his former home which he’s not allowed into. Of course my ex will lie to her about it. It was just so odd finding the driveway blocked by her car. He said they were only in the garden. My spy camera is too cold to work.

    • #92945
      maddog
      Participant

      Sorry, Diymum, I don’t know what happened there!

      I think that now he’s breached his conditions once he will do it again when he knows I am not in the house. I’m not sure his GF will want to be with him again having now clapped eyes on the source of all his problems! Poor woman. I expect she is a lovely person and she deserves better than my ex. I wonder if he would be better talking about himself and his behaviour in the 3rd person?

    • #92947
      KIP.
      Participant

      Did you inform the police? It’s important that you log this as a pattern of behaviour. I’ve no doubt he will be back unless you push the boundaries right back. And when he does you have the evidence. He has no credible reason to be there and next time he and you may well be on your own.

    • #92966
      maddog
      Participant

      I have told the police. They tell me they can’t do anything unless he does it again. My solicitor has offered to let his solicitor know or find out if he does it again. I’ve got my spy camera up and sort of running by now! Still don’t know really how it works. If (when) he does it again, he really will be in trouble.

    • #92967
      KIP.
      Participant

      Sounds to me like the police are shirking their responsibility given there is already a history of abuse and a civil order. I would have thought at the very least a warning. Do you have the energy to speak to a supervisor. Sergeant or above?

    • #92971
      maddog
      Participant

      I looked it up and apparently because it’s the (un)civil courts, they will probably just give him a slap on the wrist and tell him not to do it again. The thought of going back to court right now fills me with unmitigated horror.

    • #92982
      KIP.
      Participant

      I know how you feel. Getting our mental health in a fighting place is so difficult x at least you can use that against him. His stalking behaviour x

    • #92984
      [email protected]
      Participant

      why dont you contact paladin for help? xx

    • #93011
      maddog
      Participant

      What’s paladin?

    • #93012
      KIP.
      Participant

      It’s an anti stalking organisation. Google them. They have a helpline which I rang for advice. They will tell you to keep a journal and report everything etc. It might be worth a call to see if they have any new to add x

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