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I called the police on my partner last night again and he’s been made to leave the house for 24 hours. It’s my house, so my plan is to get the locks changed and take out a non molestation order. I really need words of encouragement from you guys please. I gave up my City job and beautiful old house to be with him and have to accept that my dream if an idyllic life is over while he tries to persuade me to let him come home 🙁
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Well done. Please please follow through. Ring Rights for Women for free legal advice. Leave the key in the inside of the door meantime to stop him entering. Dump his stuff at a friends. Your dream with him is over but the world is now a blank piece of paper for you to colour brightly. Make new dreams. Get your life back. Abusers live to ruin our potential. They cannot bear to see us thrive. Absolutely zero contact is the way forward. If you could contact him maybe by txt to say any contact will be viewed as harassment and reported to the police. Do no reply to any communication you get back. Simply keep reporting to police. This is a very dangerous time for us when we end things so stay safe. Contact your local women’s aid for support. Onwards and upwards x
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You can do it! I thought when I ended it with my abuser that that was it. I had lost my career, my independence, everything. One year on and my life was better than I could have imagined during the years of abuse. You can do this. No matter what happens your life will be better without this man. Change those locks, block his number and call the police if he shows up again.
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His mum has been and taken his stuff. I thought once he’d stopped drinking, things would get better. I can’t say he hasn’t done what he’s asked to give up the booze and the abuse has got less frequent, but it’s still there. Will further therapy help him? I feel lost and bereft.
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Sadly in my experience and having been on this forum for a few years, they never ever change. They make us so dependent on then whether it’s running round after them or losing our friends and our identity that when they do go we are left floundering. No amount of loving him will make him stop abusing you. I blamed his drinking for years but the truth is many men drink and they do not abuse. He chooses to abuse you and if he didn’t blame alcohol he would simply blame something else. Usually us. Nothing changes for long. If you allow him back it will be ok for a while then the abuse will escalate. It always does. Next time it will be worse. Please stay zero contact. It’s like a drug addiction and it’s going to be painful for a while but I promise it will pass. Just take baby steps x
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