Friends… they mean well

[Meekgeek]

Hi,
I’ve just been for a walk with my dogs. It’s been a really hard couple of days, exhausted, crying, anxious and I thought some fresh air would do me good. My dogs and the afternoon sun did but I met a friend who is very much aware of my situation and has been helpful. I’m just going down the path of counselling and my counsellor, who didn’t tell me what to do but suggested that over the next couple of weeks I get plenty of rest, enjoy reading, which I do a lot of and generally chill out until we meet again. I’m on the sick since there’s no way I could work and I thought that’s great advice and I’ve been doing just that cos I’m exhausted. However, my friend has just commented on what impractical advice I’ve been given and instead I should just ‘get on with it and ‘get out there’.
It really saddens me to think that’s what some people think you’ve got to do. I’m sticking with my counsellor because it resonated with me. If I could ‘get out there’ and ‘get on with it’ I’d be first in the queue. People should consider their words before they speak because their well-intentioned advice can be so damaging. If only…. moan over.

[KIP.]

Hey, when she gets her psychology diploma you can take her advice. Meantime stick you your recovery plan and Do what you can manage x

[WalkerInTheRain]

I tried that ‘getting on with it’ philosophy and I just ended up crashing and burning.
Trauma isn’t going to be resolved by stoically carrying on as if everything was normal.
Your friend probably wants to see you happy but these things take time.

[Reachingout]

I agree with walkerintherain. I too have tried the get out and get on approach and I crashed and burned. My counsellor and best friend have told me the same as your counsellor. Take time to do things i enjoy and take my time healing. Don’t feel bad for taking your time. Your healing is the most important thing x

[Author]

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