Frustration, health issues and depression

[tavarish]

Hello,
I have left an abusive relationship and after I left he kept messaging me and lied to everyone about me. I have reported him to the police for a sexual assault incident but I haven’t got the courage yet to send the evidence. I tend to sometimes doubt myself and I have spoken to my therapist and she told me that I had also mistakes but none of them are compared to the abuse that I received from him, how he manipulated me and how he kept humiliating me after I left, how he lied to everyone about me and he played victim as I just left to travel and left our marriage. I know my therapist is 100% right but I am scared he will twist all and that I will remain broken and will never be able to heal because I will continue this process. I know is right to continue with the report and this is something I need to do but I am scared of the emotional consequences and my health. My head hurts a lot and I have cramps all over my body, I feel tired when I wake up and I have back pains. My doctor says is all stress and I should solve my personal problems otherwise I will get sick.
I think maybe that by finishing the report this feeling will go away because I know I am having all these thoughts and pressure gone once I do it. I know that continuing this report to respect myself and recognize what he did is bad for me and you won’t let this happen again with anybody else, BUT at the same time, I feel so weak to do it.

Please help me.

[Catjam]

Bumping so others better at answering this will see it.

I am still in my situation so I understand the strength it has taken for you to do what you have. I know the toll living with these people have on us. Sadly I think it’s a long and difficult road to recovery.
I know I haven’t always gotten it right but it’s nothing compared to the harm they cause us. Hopefully someone else may have the answers you need.
Stay strong x

[Wiseafter]

Stay with this Tavarish, although I may not have experience with your particular circumstance, I lived with a highly manipulative, abusive man for many years. I really hope you can take a step back and breathe and see what you have achieved so far. You are coping with an enormous amount emotionally and physically so I just want to say you have done so well. I think you are incredibly brave. I know from experience that coping with the after effects of being with a highly manipulative individual can take its toll on your physical and mental health. Give yourself a break and do not under any circumstances think of yourself as weak. You are strong and brave and you are coping with alot. I hope you get some good advice on here today and remember, you are not alone. You just don’t know what will happen in the future and worrying about it will paralyse you from doing anything to move forward in your situation. All you can do right now is speak you truth. That’s it, you are in control. You will make the decision to do it when you are ready. I wish you well.

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