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    • #119316
      Helpingothers
      Participant

      Hi everyone,

      I’m new to this site.

      If anyone could spare a few moments to read this (detail removed by moderator)

      I’d be grateful to hear your thoughts on my situation. Still thinking back to it now, I still feel like it’s my fault. The emotional abuse still sits with me and I haven’t built my confidence back up. I still struggle to get out some days.

      I am trying to move on slowly but I think it would help so much if I could get the help requested.

    • #119341
      Watersprite
      Participant

      Hello helping others welcome to the forum. There is a lot of support on here and lots of posts will describe the things you are feeling. Am I right – have you left? I have too – it’s taking ages to get straightened out kids, housing, money, divorce , health but that’s how it is. These things definitely take a long time to process. Abuse is only ever the abusers fault they chose to do it they know what they are doing. Speak to women’s aid they will help you access support to assist in moving forwards and keep posting – a great step forwards x

    • #119344
      Hawthorn
      Participant

      Hi helping others, welcome😊

      You’re very brave to reach out here, I’m afraid I cant comment much on your situation as the details have been removed but its so normal to feel we are to blame for the abuse. You are not to blame. Abusers trap us in the abuse by laying all responsibility on us and taking none themselves. It takes time for your brain to learn a new way of thinking as we are brainwashed into blaming ourselves. The sad fact is he chose to abuse you. It is his shame to carry, not yours.

      Keep posting and reach out to womens aid for support. Education is key, google the power and control wheel and the cycle of abuse. I read Why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft and it gave me the strength to leave. Its available to read for free online and is very validating and gives alot of clarity. Healing from Hidden Abuse is another good book.

      Take care xx

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