20th December 2015 at 8:35 pm #6408
I am in the process of getting away from my abuser, house is on the market (we are both in it till it sales), divorce is progressing.
As I get stronger I am standing up for my rights, but I know its making him angry and of course there are reprisals, petty and annoying things. Today I’m having a wobble that something bad will happen over the next couple of weeks as he will be off work and (detail removed by Moderator).
I don’t know if I’m being over sensitive, but I’ve survived in the past by being able to read him, and he did tell me he wouldn’t hit me cause I would get him out. I tried to explain my concerns to a friend and they can’t see why I’m worried as I have done everything by the book and given him numerous chances to do things the right way. But they don’t understand logic is not the way these abusers think, and he thinks he knows best and is never wrong.
I will stay out of the house as much as possible so not to antagonize the situation and hope for the best.
20th December 2015 at 8:50 pm #6410KIP.Participant
Trust your gut….. For the short time we lived together after I ended the marriage it was hell and eventually he totally lost it. I called the police and he was arrested and bailed. I was lucky my son was about or I know it would have been a lot worse. He’d been abusing me for years. As you know, they are very dangerous when losing control and I assume he will be drinking too at this time of year. Is there a friend you can stay with for the next two weeks. It’s really not worth it❤️
20th December 2015 at 9:19 pm #6414
I have ended it, but can someone please tell me that it gets easier. I feel like I am only just hanging on. I don’t know who I am on my own. I know that sounds pathetic, but I feel so lost.
21st December 2015 at 9:08 am #6419
He is already drinking alcohol a lot more these days KIP and he been abusing me for years and I was in denial to this year. If I stay out late he keeps his light on till I get in but I will see if there is a way I could keep out of the way good idea.
Hoping when done for ending it and it does get easier I promise, I learning who I am, its not pathetic, we weren’t allow to be us. I couldn’t even choose a seat and table to sit at in a café at first. I went out with friends last night and they said what do you want to drink and I said I don’t and panicked. They were great and I got over it. I have WA support worker, and she been a great sounding board, and last week I made an important decision and acted on it with out asking for support so I know I am improving.
Post and get support here and don’t be to hard on yourself as I was told you been abused enough without you doing it to. xx
21st December 2015 at 9:12 am #6421KIP.Participant
Yes it does get easier. It’s hell and a roller coaster for quite some time. Time and no contact are the things that make a difference. Our lives have revolved round them for so long, it will take time to find yourself again, to rebuild your life. But you can rebuild it just how you want to. Imagine a colouring book. It’s up to you to colour your life in again. It will get better. You will recover. And you will be stronger and wiser x. And much much happier❤️
21st December 2015 at 2:55 pm #6431
It would be so much easier if it hadn’t just been when he was drinking. When not drunk and angry, he is the most amazing man and I miss that so much.I know I’m not responsible for his actions, but the problems in our marriage were my fault as much as his. I didn’t realise how hard this would be. I don’t know how I will even get through today, let alone tomorrow. I just wish I could change things.
22nd December 2015 at 9:07 am #6441
Of course it would be so much simpler if they were horrid all the time. But that’s not how the games played.
No one is perfect at times I have been a screaming banshee. But when I look back I see that he was provocating me alot of the time.
I know its hard but it will get better xx
22nd December 2015 at 8:59 pm #6489
Really struggling today. I just want to let him know I’m sorry and know that he is OK. It is taking everything not to email him or write to him, but I don’t know if I can stop myself.
23rd December 2015 at 8:36 am #6500
Bless you Hoping stay strong he’s not worth you and your worth so much more.
Im having a wobble too today, I just want it back like it was on the good days. But I know it was a lot more bad than good and the good was only done to keep me on the edge and disbelieve myself.
We both must stay resolute and survey xx
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