Getting out

[Sunflower1]

Hi everyone, after years of living with an abusive partner I’m finally getting to the stage when I’m leaving. I feel sick but basically one of my children opened up to a teacher about an argument and she asked if I wanted to talk, I agreed and she said she is going to help me. I’m registered for housing but in a low priority band so although I’ve been bidding I don’t get anywhere near the top of the bids, she said she knows someone in housing she can speak to. She asked if I want to referred to a safeguarding team? I don’t know what that will entail but to be honest all I want is a house I can prepare for a couple of weeks and the move into while he’s at work. I think I’m being a bit naive to think it could go smoothly so I’m not telling him any of these plans. I will ask a family member to help me as well. I just feel scared now, what will happen with the kids? I can’t stop him seeing them but I think he will just get them from school and use them against me. Should I wait until the Christmas holidays? School said they will give them time off if they need it so should I just keep them off and call in sick to work until the dust settles? I’m so anxious I feel like all I can do is take deep breaths and there still isn’t enough air, I would love to go amicably but I can’t see that happening. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you x

[Lisa]

Hi Sunflower1,

Thank you for sharing with us. It can feel very overwhelming to know where to start and how to plan to leave so you are doing the right thing by reaching out for support.

A good next step would be contacting your local domestic abuse service as they can often offer ongoing emotional and practical support to help explore your options and help make a plan to leave safely. You can find your local domestic abuse service via this link.

You may also find it helpful to explore your legal rights and options with regards to your children and contact with your partner. There is a specialist child contact legal advice organisation available here.

Rights of Women are also very helpful with legal advice on various matters.

Women’s Aid Live Chat is also available every day if you feel like you are in need of some additional support. You can chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence to discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here.

Keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Author]

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