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    • #45083
      Toshiba
      Participant

      What happens? Am I allowed to take the children away? Am I allowed to stop contact? What will happen? Will I have to go to court? Could I lose the kids.
      He is sexually abusive to me and I would say controlling in other ways. I don’t know if I could class it as verbal and financial abuse. But he is definitely controlling and not nice to me. He snaps at the kids when he loses his temper he has pulled them a few times and he shouts/ screams about tiny little things. If he wants the kids to do something even if it’s something they shouldn’t have to do he will say things to make them feel bad until they do it. (Well to the eldest. The youngest doesn’t understand as much)

    • #45094
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      Hi

      Sorry you’re going through this. I don’t have the answers but speaking to the helpline might be a good first move. They will help you.

    • #45138
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Toshiba,

      I just want to show you some support. I am so sorry for your situation and you are being so brave and strong to try to find out your options. You and your little ones do not have to live like this and there are options for you that the helpline and your local Women’s Aid group can help you explore. You could consider a refuge where you would be safe from him and the refuge workers could offer you lots of emotional and practical help. Once in a refuge you and the children are classed as involuntarily homeless due to domestic abuse and you would be in priority need of being rehoused.

      We are all here for you. Please try to find a safe time to call the helpline and let us know how you get on.

      Best wishes,

      Lisa
      Forum Moderator

    • #45657
      FightForYourself
      Participant

      I have similar situation with two little kids.. ny husband is emotionally and financially abusive and controllig. He never hurt me or kids physically so I am still here taking one step at a time. First step was reading a lot about abuse to understand what is going on. It is also important to take care of yourself. To think about your feelings and listen to your body and intuition. My next step was calling the helpline and than the local organisation. Next step is to make an appointment with housing advisor in your council. I hope they will help me to find save place to live. If I won’t have anything then I go to refuge…
      Hun we don’t deserve all of this abuse..

    • #45664
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hi HUn

      call the helpline and get advice where u stand and what
      agencies can help you, womens of right is a legal line that gives free advice, they will be best people to tell you your rights legally, having agencies involved gives u support u need, dont tell him anythign that u r reachinng out for support, just act the same , go to your gp and log abuse

    • #45763
      cupcakes
      Participant

      Hi I am sorry for what you are going through I know how you feel as I left with children (detail removed by moderator). It was one of the hardest things ive ever done but I’m so glad I did it. I called women’s aid spoke to my doctor the police and a couple of solicitors to get advice I also went to cab. I was lucky I had a bit of savings so got a rented house although I am broke now and financially its going to be hard I’m free from him. Don’t tell him I made that mistake thinking he would be OK about it. This backfired on me so had to leave while the police were with me. Get as much advice as possible don’t tell him and you will be fine. Good luck x

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