- This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 7 months ago by Bridget Jones Is Free.
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17th August 2016 at 10:32 pm #25121StrengthfromAboveParticipant
Hi everyone, just my dilemma at the moment and hope you’re all keeping strong.
It’s been (removed by moderator) now since he took the car keys from me. As a result I’ve decided to accept that I don’t drive anymore, even though the car is parked outside and my kids are also enjoying the walks we take when going to shops. However someone (husband) is always looking for some reaction from me. (removed by moderator) he came to me and started, started telling I should change my behaviour and stop complaining about the car. I told him I have to been complaining and I have accepted that I don’t drive anymore n I’m ok with it. Honestly, I’m not ok with it but I won’t give in to his mind games of “master n slave”.
Well, he has decided to up his game by disconnecting the Internet. (Detail removed by moderator) . Again I won’t give in to his games and have decided to not react to this too. Oh n apparently I’m an unpurposeful wife😳😳. I think something he’s sensing I want to leave.
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17th August 2016 at 10:51 pm #25126godschildParticipant
Hi, They like a reaction thats why they do things, they cannot stand it when they dont get one, they will then up the control.
Can you go to the library or somewhere to use the internet, beat him at his games.
He expects you to complain about the car, he really wants you to so he can blame you and turn it onto you, well done for not reacting, but he has no rights at all to be depriving you of driving or the internet.
Really this is coercive control and is an offence , you could report him, you are coping very wellx -
17th August 2016 at 10:52 pm #25127AyannaParticipant
Please leave him. Get into a refuge if you can. That man is an awful abuser. I have a much better word for him, but I cannot post this here.
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17th August 2016 at 11:44 pm #25133StrengthfromAboveParticipant
Godchild, thank God my neighbours are very nice and have given me their internet password to connect to them. They know how he’s like and have also urged me to seek help. My neighbour even said sid he’s profession, he doesnt deserve it as he can’t treat me like this and get away with it. At the moment im just trying to clear this guilt about spoiling his career but yet again, i dont deserve to be treated like this. He’s made his choice to do these things and i just have to walk away for the sake of kids and i.
Ayanna, i wouldn’t mind going to a refuge but its just to get the courage to do it. Although the aftermath, is also what im dreading as he will paint me a bad picture as he likes to say im irresponsible and i will never take his kids but i know this is not true.
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17th August 2016 at 11:50 pm #25135StrengthfromAboveParticipant
Oh forgot to say that he took the satelite TV remotes too. Its really hard living in these conditions but as much as im scared to leave. Im beginning to detach myself from him and seeing for who he is. Its truly helping me and thank you so much ladies x*x
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18th August 2016 at 12:01 am #25136Bridget Jones Is FreeParticipant
It sounds like you are gaining strength and recognising his attitude for what it really is, well done! I find his actions totally ludicrous and I admire you for not reacting, you are very strong but I do wonder how long you can keep this up. I also hope your children are young enough not to notice too much of what goes on.
I would definitely ring and describe how he is behaving, record what he does and how he impacts on your lives (you and the children), this is coercive abuse.
The more I read posts like yours, the more I wonder what this world is made of, there are some strange people around and why they behave like that, I will never know…Hugs, BJ.
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