giving up us sometimes a good thing

[diymum@1]

Part of how people get through experiences of extreme stress is by telling themselves, over and over, I can handle this. In many ways this mantra is important and helpful;believing that you can handle things helps you to muster up the strength to get through the day,to keep your job,to look after your children.it’s important to have a view of yourself as strong, as competent,as resilient and self-sufficient.

But sometimes it’s powerfully liberating to accept that you just can’t do it.

Sometimes it’s best to stop fighting,and to take in the truth that:

You cant manage an abuser or get them to change how they treat you.

You cant be the kind of mother you really want to be while at the same time dealing with your abusers devaluation of you.

You cant work through the current challenges alone. You cant be the total hero,needing no one else.

You cant keep yourself emotionally and physically well in the toxic atmosphere that has been created.

Why is it sometimes good to give up in this way? Because of what follows.

When you finally let go of these battles, you accept that it is time to get assistance.It’s time to tell other people the truth about what’s happening, as embarassing as that may feel. It’s time to feel okay about needing other peoples help;we ALL need other people, thats part of what it means to be human.it’s time to consider completely new ways of doing things-perhaps a separation period from your abuser.

Admitting that you can’t handle the life that you are living is a profoundly helpful step,even though it’s a painful one;it is the turning point that allows you to start building a new life,one that will work for you.

So it’s a case of maybe I just can’t do this,and that’s ok. This is where Im at xx 💕 love diymum

[Iwantmeback]

You’ve made me smile and be that more accepting of what has to come. Thank you mo charaid 💜

[diymum@1]

you always bring a smile to me too! you will have what your heart desires, peace – hope we both achieve that im sure we will my friend 🙂 :)x*x

[fizzylem]

Thanks DM, it’s sooo important to think about this. To feel truly resiliant is also having the abilty to stop and recognise when it is time for help and knowing where to get this help, and if not, then to know you can always go and find out! It takes practice huh, asking for help can feel like failure – BUT IT’S NOT! It’s the way out, through, up and over hey x*x

[diymum@1]

yeh for sure fizzy lem – but we do deserve that just as much as anyone else, i think we get scared that we wont be listened to and we sometimes loose our value but our ‘eyes are wide open’ now we deserve more that anyone to get that support xx we know when were out off our remitt and when thats the case its dangerous not to take that hand up xx how you feeling hope things have settled down for you both? xx love diymum

[diymum@1]

This might help when it comes to custody and approaching the authorities xx

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