going mad

[Illuminata]

I’ve only recently started posting about my long time marriage and emotional/psychological abuse, and wanted to find out if anyone else is, or has experienced this sense of paranoia and fear about partners behaviour.
Although I’ve been aware of the abuse for a long time, its only recently I felt that he was cheating on me. He has denied having an affair, and although he’s always been secretive I just can’t let go of it..how do you believe a compulsive liar? I think with all the psychological stuff, everything he says and does is viewed by me with suspicion. I think what I’m trying to say is I’m questioning my feelings, and by asking him (I have asked him several times now), could my behaviour be considered abusive? I just need a little perspective on this, and wondered if anybody else had experienced this..? xx

[fizzylem]

Hey I, dreadful place to be hey, this going round and round in your mind. I would always say trust your gut, everytime. If you sense something is a miss that’s because it is. You’re asking the wrong person, he will never admit this, will only try and throw you off the scent, because he knows if he did fess up then it would mean grief for him so why do that, or you may even throw him out or leave. These men please themselves and do not have a conscience when it comes to lying at all x

[Illuminata]

Yes you’re right Fizzylem, even though I’m looking at him and thinking, “you are so lying”..,I can get it in my head that maybe, just maybe he’s telling the truth and go and give him the benefit of the doubt! I am in the process of leaving, though it could take a while,in the mean time I have to put up with his mind games causing my self esteem to slip even further down.I just wish it didn’t bother me that he might be having an affair,and am trying the gray rock method as recommended to me,but am not always able to achieve the disinterested attitude that would help me to disengage. Thanks so much for your reply and support,it does help..xx

[County]

He’s playing with your head Womens aid always say a woman knows and she does. They train us to ignore our gut feeling by repeating the same old mantra. If you feel there’s something off there probably is.

[Author]

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