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    • #159508
      Red-squirrel
      Participant

      Sorry if this is the wrong place to post.
      My son and I left my ex (detail removed by moderator)
      My son is keeps asking to go on holiday abroad and my ex has PR so I can’t just take my son out of the country. We have also have different surnames. Has anyone else had this issue? I’m terrified of having to contact him to ask permission. Im also scared if I have to go to court as feel like it might open a can of worms where it all starts over again.
      I’m in a bit of spiral today and realised even after (detail removed by moderator) I’m still dealing with the fear. Nightmares and anxiety always get worse near my sons birthday (detail removed by moderator) because I always fear is this the day he shows up ((detail removed by moderator)). Also my son has just been diagnosed with ASD and my ex while I was pregnant (detail removed by moderator). He said other things about this, what he believed should happen to disabled children but they are too upsetting to type. To be honest those comments are when I started standing up to him. Sorry for rambling I’ve been in a spiral all day and can’t get out of it.

    • #159546
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Red-squirrel,

      Welcome to the forum, you’re in the right place. I hope you feel welcome to share support with the other women here.

      I can feel how stressed and scared you are at the prospect of having any contact with your ex. It’s normal for it to take time to recover and lots of people find that significant dates like birthdays can bring up or intensify difficulties. Have you had any support to process the abuse you experienced? Talking therapy with a practitioner who understands abuse or trauma can be helpful. You could speak to your GP about accessing this and find out what’s available locally. You might also like to look at Bloom who run courses designed with survivors, therapists, and other professionals aimed at supporting people to heal from trauma.

      If you’ve not had any legal advice about taking your son abroad, Coram have guidance on this on the “Travel and Relocation” page of their Child Law Advice website. They have a webchat service or you can call them on 0300 330 5480, Monday to Friday 8am – 6pm.

      Take care and keep posting,
      Lisa

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