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I need advice, I feel like I’m going stir crazy. My ex is completely shying away from seeing and paying towards the upbringing of the kids. The relationship was very abusive but he always made me out to be the crazy one, would set me up and despite him being convicted, hospital and police reports – always made out it was me. He kept threatening to change his number so I couldn’t contact him about money and the kids, so I changed mine first and he followed. Prior to this I sent him a lawyers letter offering him the day a week he asked for and min contact between us. He can’t handle any kind of authority or someone else telling him to do anything so completely ignored it. I then found out he met a close family member behind my back to organise seeing my kids through them. Apparently once a month for three days at a time. He hasn’t even spent 24 hours with our youngest, never mind 3 days and When he had the eldest for three days about a year ago all I got was abuse telling me she was disobedient and defiant just like me. I don’t feel comfortable having no contact with my kids for three days. Am I mad for feeling like this? I feel like this is just another way to control me. He made me feel non existent the whole time we were together, the silent treatment, even walking by me in the street when he was with his friends etc. So I feel like this is just another way for him to make me feel like I’m non existent. But then I’m questioning myself thinking is it me with the problem here? I don’t know what to think? He makes out I am the abuser for chasing him to see the kids and asking him for money 🙁
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Any contact with these men is toxic and they use every opportunity to continue their crazy making behaviour. Do everything legally to prevent this kind of behaviour. Get access drawn up in a legal agreement along with maintenance. Write one final letter from your solicitor offering certain dates for contact and an amount of maintenance. Give him a time limit to respond then chase him through the legal system for money. You need to take back control of the situation. It’s the uncertainty that drives us crazy. Them always moving the goal posts. Take back control. You cannot force him to see his children and to contribute to them. He is no longer your responsibility. Concentrate on you and your children’s future as he will always be selfish, toxic and dangerous x
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