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    • #65306
      Stay or leave
      Participant

      He has only been gone a very short period of time. He is having the time of his life. Socialising and acting like he has not a care in the world. Meanwhile im depressed upset and tearful. I feel like im fully responsible for the children and I could not even think about another relationship so soon.
      He is really happy and I think hes moved on already as someone informed me hes been spending alot of time with another woman.
      It hurts to think he is not upset in any way. He not even missing the children calling them or nothing.
      I should be glad because he only cares about drugs his first priority but its hard to adapt to this change.

    • #65309

      you are the better person stay or leave.
      This is what drugs do to people.
      well done you for holding down your responsibilities.
      you are not alone, hundreds of us on here and across the country have to hack it alone as parents
      we can do this together
      all best
      ftc
      x

    • #65327
      KIP.
      Participant

      My ex moved on very quickly. Or so I thought. Beinging another woman into the picture so soon is just another tactic of the abuser. Designed to make you sad and jealous. My ex did the same. I still didn’t want him back so,his abuse escalated. Like yours, mine left belongings as a link. It may seem like he is enjoying himself but it is all superficial. They are parasites and need to feed off victims, rest assured if he is seeing someone else he will treat her exactly the same way he treated you. It may not seem like it just now but when you look back in a couple of years you will be thankful his attention is elsewhere. Burn all the bridges to,prevent him from crossing back over them. You cannot be responsible for his actions. His behaviour just proves you were right all along to get rid of him. But I think he will be back so protect yourself.

    • #65333
      Stay or leave
      Participant

      I am sad but not jelous because deep down I know who ever she is she will get abused by him. His dad did it to his mum. He will do it to her. He thinks its normal behaviour. He is showing off that he now has this wonderful life without us. I know it wont last due to his addiction. Im too soft and sat calmly and listened to him saying he has no drug problem. I thought keep telling yourself that because I know you have and you can not fool me. I am hurt the family is broke up but its for good reason. The children will know I did it for them and myself. I want zero contact..hes stopped calling me and he approached my family to tell them hes doing just great without me.
      He knew indirectly it would get back to me. He is not stupid he knows what he is doing.

    • #65341
      BakingQueen
      Participant

      Hi stay or leave.

      Like so many ladies experiences on here my ex two moved on to another within weeks of me leaving I reckon. He tried to mention it during a pick up one time “So you know about me and so and so?” He really thought I would be jealous. I left! Good luck to the pair of them, she especially will need it.

      I also had those same feelings as you. I felt lumbered with all the responsibility. But i view it in a new light now. We love our kids, we do right by them. Its best if they aren’t around and the longer the better.

      My ex hasnt been around to see our kid in ages now and let’s not even get started with child maintenance. But that’s ok because I did the right thing in leaving and so did you. This just shows you, what kind of man wouldn’t miss his kids enough to keep contact? And that right there highlights the complete selfishness these men have.

      Stay strong lovely x*x

    • #65347
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      Dear stayorleave

      It’s painful so painful to really see who they are. Unbelievable, so hard to absorb, the reality of him, that this is who he really is.

      Such a shock, we spend so long believing him to be something else entirely.

      I will never forget the look on one of my kids faces when he marched pass them completely ignoring because he had a new girlfriend on his arm.

      The don’t get the damage they do. Try not to expend too much of your energies on him any more, think of you and great stuff youcan do together with him gone.

      Warmest wishes ts

    • #65351
      Stay or leave
      Participant

      I feel physically sick about it all. I also heard a that he might be rekindling with the woman I once caught him texting. When I found out I gave him the choice her or me at the time I lost lots of weight it made me really ill and took me years to get over. He chose me and had no more contact with her. Now I dont want him it feels strange. If it is true it really would open old wounds and be a stab in the back to me. Thinking back he should have chose her they are more suited and I do believe he loved her not me.
      I need to put myself first and focus on me. I dont want him and whatever he does I have no control over it. He will do whatever he can to suit him and to hurt me. He really is so selfish.

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