Good and bad

[Anonymous]

Another sleepless night, tossing, turning, recalling, over thinking. I was thinking about the Good man compared to the bad man, and all the things that would reveal a bad man so as to never miss the red flags again. They can all be charmers bit I remember thinking back to when I first met him, all the things I revealed about my life & all that had happened, thinking he cared, he was different, no no how wrong I was
Its like they test you with a secret set of questions but don’t reveal too much about themselves. I was wondering if anyone can help me, if we can maybe help each other by pin pointing & looking back on our abusers tricks of the mind in those early days, getting us sucked into their web of abuse & fear. Several things should have warned me off but back then I did not know about Red flags or even that it had the title of Domestic violence & abuse, I honestly thought it was normal & that’s what most men were like! Here goes to start with on the red flags looking back 1) When you meet my family, don’t believe anything they say, they are all compulsive liars 2) I have never ended a relationship 3) Sorry I got angry, it won’t happen again 4) He wasn’t going to lose me now that he’d found me 5) I can see us growing old together 6) I was different to all the other women he’d known 7) his ex wouldn’t use toilet paper as it was too rough, she used to have to use baby wet wipes?…? That was the weirdest statement ever, like she was extra sensitive, how now I know the warning sign of that one, could I handle pain??? 8) I would fit in well with his family (he’d seen my I did everything, housework, garden, etc etc he wouldn’t have too, also I did everything to make him feel like a man) there must be hundreds of other warning signs we all need to be aware of??……..

[Serenity]

Hi. Lueberry,

I did a Pattern Changing course where we all made a list of red flags from our experience.

It was eye-opening.

I think the Freedom course covers this also x

[Anonymous]

Hi Serenity The freedom course does, I did it, It really opens your eyes wide, I can recall the red flags that I’d seen at the time as normal, I honestly did not realise how severe his abuse had been up until then. It was daily, intense & vile. Even down to his silent treatment, I used to think it’s him that’s how a child would act, sulking to get its own way, the tempers that resembled a terrible 2 tantrum. But since that course I see it so differently now, I still think their behaviour resembles that of a spoilt child who would go to any lengths to get their own way, the terrible 2s temper tantrums, yet in an adult terrifying. They are bullies who are inside cowards themselves their only way to protect themselves is to control others through fear, make them feel like real men!!!!! Xx

[Author]

Posts