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Not that I usually listen to my mum; as a) she doesnt get it and b) she’s not really with it and c) she’s been a terrible parent. She’s just told me do you think it’s wise taking her to GP as they might think your worries are rubbing off on her and you could make it worse for her if you draw attention to it with her.
I dont see how I have much choice other than being transparent. I just have to hope that when the time comes, any profss involved with her ask the right questions and she is able to say what she wants.
This is so stressful, trying to protect her and give her what she needs while our relationship is under attack and threat, and scrunity by those who do not know us.
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these aren’t you worries rubbing off – what he is doing ie quizzing her – undermining you to her he is the one that is making her become introverted and angry. I think you have to show the GP some examples of this maybe from when dad hurts mum from lundy Bancroft or any evidence based literature that shows the effect an abusive parent has on a child in his care. she is showing her feelings to you because she trusts you – your her rock – not the cause that’s the dv which he is perpetrating – he has been bullying her essentially. I wouldn’t listen to the advice of your mum because now your being forced to take court action so she has to be informed xxxx he has led you to this so don’t be victim blamed by the courts your mum or him xxxxx
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what I told the GP was the only time she behaved as above was when she was faced with contact with her dad and that was the truth. I told her what she need to know so that she could make an informed safe decision other wise I would never have broached what he was actually like – if I didn’t have to protect her I would otherwise not have indulged the dv – we have to there isn’t a choice xxxx
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Yes this is our truth for sure; he is bullying her so she’s withdrawn from him, doesnt want to make arrangements with him, wants set times or mum to sort any changes – for this very reason, its too mych for her and she’ll do what he wants for a quiet life, but all the time betting more and more withdrawn, angry and hopeless. I think I will gather the bits you have said and discuss with GP first – I dont even know if there’s one that will get it yet as we had to change surgery, the last was great, but so far in this surery I have yet to come across any GP that really engages with the patient. Just feels liek such a game and strategy – when what we need is just to be open and honest and heard isnt it. Thanks DM x
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