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Escaped not free.
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27th August 2016 at 6:33 pm #26125
Tilly Lamp
ParticipantIs it normal to feel absolutely awful for reporting to the police? I can’t go on like this but I feel so awful, really guilty. He has mental health problems, and absolutely nowhere to go, don’t know anyone, has no friends, but equally this has gone on for years and children are not coming home during holidays because of him. I want to see my children.
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27th August 2016 at 6:46 pm #26127
KIP.
ParticipantHello, yes it’s very normal. I felt consumed with guilt until he lied to the police and had me detained for (detail removed by Moderator). You have been programmed to feel guilt. He chooses to behave the way he does and many people have mental illnesses, including me but we are not abusive. It’s no excuse. Please ring the helpline on here and contact your local women’s aid. It sounds like you’ve had all you can take. Holding them accountable for,their own actions is a real wake up call. But I doubt he will accept responsibility. There is a book called ‘Living with the Dominator’ by Pat Craven. Try to read that and keep reading the posts on here. All these abusers act in a very similar way. I bet you’ve given him chance after chance after chance. Time to take back control of your life ❤️
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27th August 2016 at 8:56 pm #26146
Ayanna
ParticipantThe first time I felt very guilty although he nearly killed me. The second time only a little bit. When he got me nearly arrested I promised myself to not have any mercy on him any more and fight like a warrior queen. Since then I never felt guilty again.
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30th August 2016 at 7:23 pm #26429
Escaped not free
ParticipantYes it’s normal. Gut wrenching vomit inducing terror at what your relationship has escalated to. But the ladies are right, if they would stop his behaviour it wouldn’t be necessary. He will lie, I guarantee it. They all do when the police get them. Then you realise they aren’t out of control. They know they did wrong as they know they need to lie to cover it up. My partner was a master manipulator, managed to get police bail on a weekend to our home….which inforced mine and my kids eviction, then got the police to give him a lift home! And they did! He turned on the victim card and the custody sergeant fell for it. He had terrorised me when I said I wanted out of our relationship. Stalked me by hacking into my phone, filmed me without my knowledge, locked me in the house to shout at me until I submitted to him made me seriously unwell physically with the strain of the emotional trauma and yet they still lie. My partner also blamed his behaviour on “not being well at the time” If they can manage not to treat other people this way then they are in control. Good luck. I know what u are going through is hell. You will get through it. X*x
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