This topic contains 9 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Hazydayz 4 days, 11 hours ago.

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  • #107893
     Hazydayz 
    Participant

    I met and married my husband within a very short time, too short a time to know who he really was? Who he would become! On our wedding night, after a day with no signs of any possible forthcoming concern, I was shocked to hear him whisper in my ear while love making…”are you gonna do as your told now”. I laughed it off, thinking it was just some macho ego roleplay sex game to him. I’m here today almost a decade later thinking…what a fool I was! Knowing now, what I know, and what many of you ladies might think? And feeling that many may have had similar experience. It’s destroyed my life, that day!💞

  • #107897
     Headspinning 
    Participant

    My abuser definitely got worse after marriage. I think he got big for his boots and felt he had every right to be king of the castle (it was my house and he had moved in during the relationship, never putting any actual cash payment into the equity of house, but we had a joint account for day to day living expenses)
    I think he thought he had more rights, I was less likely to end things. In some ways I think he resented me more for not being perfect because I was “his wife” now!! How dare I not be perfect! My relationship was never all good or all bad – but the ratio of good:bad definitely tipped with the bad increasing after marriage and his attempts at being “nice” being lazier – I got almost identical Christmas presents 2 years in a row because he couldn’t be bothered putting thought in and they weren’t wrapped. Hey – at least I got presents I know, but the point is when I rewind back to pre marriage there would have been more effort and thought.

    • #107927
       Hazydayz 
      Participant

      Headspining thankyou 💐 sounds so like my experience!💞

  • #107898
     iliketea 
    Participant

    Oh @hazydayz I just read your post and remembered in Healing from Hidden Abuse she says that happens. I’m just looking for the page number. Think it was Chapter 5 of the audio. I listened to it on Audible, have you? It’s really worth it. Xx

    • #107926
       Hazydayz 
      Participant

      Iliketea 💕 No I haven’t read that book, but thank you💐 for the info. And the message! I have read and promise, I’ll get back to you today💞

  • #107954
     Beautifulday 
    Participant

    It all changed after my wedding too, why on earth I went through with it ill never know because I had these gut feelings not to and I know I should have listened to these feelings. We’ve only been married (detail removed by Moderator) years but together for (detail removed by Moderator). Before marriage he was still showing signs of emotional physical abuse but after marriage the emotionak abuse escalated and also putting me low down on his list of priorities almost like as if he has me now so doesn’t need to make effort?

    • #107983
       Hazydayz 
      Participant

      Hello Beautifulday. I’m sorry to hear your experience was similar after wedlock! I use that term because it feels like being locked into hell after the wedding, sometimes, wouldn’t you agree? I guess? you had time & opportunity to have met your husband’s father maybe? before you married. Was he like his son? I didn’t get the opportunity to meet my father in law until we were married, on our wedding day. Pretty soon after, about a month or so, his masked slipped! I saw the real him! He wasn’t as nice a man as he pretended to be at first. I know, this is why my husband is, how he is! I’d swear to it! Just as vile at times! His dad taught my husband to have no respect for women! Just as he was with his wife!

  • #107959
     Eggshells 
    Participant

    Oooh, yuk, that’s so creepy but so typical. My abuse also escalated after marriage. Once we were married he felt he had a right to have sex with me and to control me. Urrrgh. Makes me creepy all over to think of it now.

    Abuse is still going on for me, via the workplace.

    • #107987
       Hazydayz 
      Participant

      Oh, Eggshells, I’m so Sorry to hear what horrors awaited you also, after getting married. Feeling like a sex slave suddenly! I imagine? and seeing your new husband turn into a monster control freak! must have been hell! And now suffering abuse in the workplace? Thats Hell! Hell! When does it end?

  • #108050
     Hazydayz 
    Participant

    This was the start of the nightmares!

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