Harassment after the relationship has ended

[Cotton]

Hi,

I’m new on here, don’t really know where to start.
I left my kids dad (detail removed by moderator) ago, after a lot of emotional and financial abuse. I had been with him for over (detail removed by moderator) years and have 2 children with him.
He started following me to work, checking where I was. It got to the breaking point, where I eventually built up the courage to walk away.

At the beginning of the spilt, we came to an agreement on when the children would stay with each of us. But when the children are with me, I get phone call after phone call, saying he cant do this anymore, he’s going to end his life “again” if I don’t go back home.
Today, he’s asked me to go and see him for (detail removed by moderator), but because I’ve refused, the emotional blackmail and threats have started again.
He is still ringing me asking me where I am, who I’m with, what I’m doing. Sometimes I feel like I have to give him an answer, otherwise, the arguments start.
Also, if I don’t obey by this words and do as I’m told, he threatens me with, he’s putting lies all over social media, which will result in my children seeing it, also I will lose my business.

I just don’t know what to do anymore.

[browneyedmum]

Weather it and don’t respond. All last night for me was him shouting at me about how “I don’t listen to him.” … no its that I don’t obey him anymore. Its about power and control.

Just go silent on social media except to promote your business as usual. Eventually people will start to realise that he is being a jerk and ignore him. Also, look at community standards for your social media platform and see if he can be reported and removed.

In addition, my husband actually threatened to take my children from me, however he’s showing all of the signs that he’s not going to be around for them.

My husband in the past did threaten suicide twice. That was also another hollow threat because even where I fully supported him through seeking help then, he didn’t follow through with help. It didn’t suit him.

Instead, he always comes up with excuses for why the world is against him and everything doesn’t meet his wants to his convenience. All the way, disregarding any love and support I gave there, because from him… it was all false and part of his good go at continuing to be coercive.

Keep strong and do not question your judgement there. xx

[Cotton]

Thank you Browneyedmum

My anxiety goes through the roof whenever my phone goes, as 9/10 its him ringing me, to throw some more threats at me. Its his way, or no way. I just feel stuck in the same situation. I have thought about going down the non-molestation route, to get an injunction on him. It feels like this is my only way of getting him out of my life, and been sane for the children.
Hes ringing me at least 10 times a day to see where I am, this isn’t normal, surely?
After being with him for (detail removed by moderator) years, I don’t know what normal is anymore.

[swanlake]

Thinking of you, it sounds horrible. I don’t know much about the various non molestation and other orders.
I do sadly have experience of people threatening to take their own life and it is a common tactic in abusers who lie about their true feelings. My abuser is still alive decades later though apparently has serious mental and physical health issues, which is probably lies too.

[Author]

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