30th January 2016 at 10:11 pm #8658myfairyqueenParticipant
Since leaving my abusive ex partner, he spent at least a month sending me hundreds of messages a day. I ended up blocking him on my phone and Facebook. I know he is still monitoring what I do through Instagram and even uses the same hostages as i have posted a while after.
I have a new partner and he has found out he is changing work locations to be with me – he has no evidence we are actually together but he has been calling his workplace 3-4 times a day pretending to be different people. He also tried to get him sacked (detail removed by moderator).
I got a solicitor involved a couple of weeks ago after a horrible trip to my old house to collect my belongings. He spent 3 hours saying horrible things to me in front of 4 police offers (they had to call for back up!). The solicitor then wrote to him telling him to stop harassing me but now I get withheld calls to my work place and even some friends who stood up to him are getting them too. I reported it all to the Police but they seem so slow to do anything and he has told sa friend he has been to the police and reported me for something.
His harassment is now so subtle, I am worried that he is going to blag his way out of it. He is always posting on Facebook subtle things that make me think he is coming to where I am or locating my new partner.
I really need some advice of what to do next. I have not told the police the extent of the abuse when we were in a relationship and I am very worried that he is coming to turn up and attack me or my new partner.
30th January 2016 at 10:30 pm #8661Falling SkysParticipant
What a nightmare he is.
Log everything he does but don’t react back, I have a personnel alarm and my phone with me at all times.
I was very open with the police and they have been a great support, sadly its the only way forward. They with give you and your new partner ways to stay safe and what you can do to keep safe. Ring 101 and they will point you in the right direction. Also have you contact Womans Aids they are fab too, you will have to leave a message and they will get back to you.
Our silence gives them more power to carry on abusing, we have done nothing wrong and we didn’t ask for what we got.
Good luck and stay strong
31st January 2016 at 12:23 am #8673AyannaParticipant
I was very honest with police, I moved to a secret place, I changed workplace, I cut all contacts, blocked him from fb, emails,…. he cannot find out what I do.
I understand your situation is more complicated because you are with a partner and he knows where both of you work. Can you change work? Can you move to a different area? Can you both change your phone numbers? Can you not block him from fb and all social medias? x*x
31st January 2016 at 8:28 am #8685SadandconfusedParticipant
Contact the Police and log it all. Have you looked into getting a Non Molestation Order? At least then he could potentially be arrested if he continues? The law has changed recently to make emotional abuse a crime and surly this falls under the stalking law too? Has your local Police got a DV Officer? Mine was excellent and really supportive with alarms, locks and support generally.
31st January 2016 at 4:21 pm #8715LisaMain Moderator
Just to let you know that it could be helpful for you to contact the National Stalking Helpline on 0808 802 0300, they also have a lot of practical safety information and guidance about reporting harassment to the police on their website; http://www.stalkinghelpline.org
If you would like to find out more about how to get an injunction you can call The National Centre for Domestic Violence on 0800 970 2070 or look on their website; http://www.ncdv.org.uk
I echo what has been said above, log every single incident to the police to demonstrate that this is an ongoing case of harassment. If you feel you can tell the police the extent to which he was abusive in the relationship it may help them to understand the risk so they can help with your safety.
1st February 2016 at 10:47 am #8774myfairyqueenParticipant
Thanks everyone, I have been to the police again and I felt they listened this time!
I have removed and blocked him from all social media already and got my work to block him. They also know to stop him entering the building. It’s amazing what he can find out though, it’s scary!!
1st February 2016 at 10:57 am #8776Confused123Participant
It is horrible how they keep finding out stuff about us, stay brave, u did well to report to police
1st February 2016 at 12:55 pm #8795SuntreeParticipant
Glad the Police are listening to you.
To further your safety on social media make sure you have everything locked down so only people you want to share information with you do.
It is okay blocking profiles you know of but that does not stop them making new ones that you don’t know about.
Then if he is still friends with friends of yours. Sometimes they think they are doing the right thing and give out your information either directly or without even know they have given that information out.. Remember these people are charming and manipulative.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.