Has anybody reported historical abuse?

[Tractor]

Hello everybody

Longstory short I was in a violent marriage that I ended when I finally called 999 the police were great but I realise now should have taken the full history not just the one incident. This was some years ago now and I’ve actually stupidly gotten myself in then out of emotionally abusive relationship but that’s another matter !

Basically the ex husband continues to control me via the kids won’t pay csa constantly let’s the kids down refuses to speak to me and leaves in to his partner who is like the female version of him a (detail removed by moderator) and over the years he’s made threats to my partner that he’ll come through the door . I’m not living on my own but he’s recently threatened me it’s really made me feel on edge not felt scared like this in a long time

I was wondering if anybody has reported old incidents I have a huge chronology all typed up passaults damaging property etc etc but is it actually worth it because them hell be really angry and then I’m putting myself at risk but then it’s like well I just keep putting up with the threats and intimidation.

Or do I cut the kids contact but then what if they blame me? And this may sound selfish but I have no life otherwise ! No break no time to do anything but suppose so be it what’s the best thing .

Please help I’m so down feel controlled by both exs feel like I’m smothered by them both.

X

[Tractor]

Now *

Typing on my phone makes spelling mistakes

[maddog]

I reported a historic rape. The police are taking it seriously and I am now being asked what I want to do… Whether or not I would like the police to investigate. My husband’s sexual behaviour was also treated as historical. Because we are still under the same roof, my husband has not been spoken to about his behaviour. Go for it! Are you getting support from WA? The Freedom Programme is fantastic.

[Tractor]

Hi mad dog
Thank you so much for your reply.

I bought the book by pat craven the freedom project it was really good. I think I’ll contact my local one for some extra support.

My gosh must be difficult under the same roof! You are every brave well done for going to the police . X

[maddog]

My husband had me arrested and everyone at the custody centre told me to make a statement. The police investigated him and NFA’d him. The police didn’t speak to him because I thought it would make it far more dangerous for me and the children. I am not alone in reporting him to the police. He lost his temper with someone and verbally threatened them.

When someone I knew told me that my husband had groped her, I felt that I should report the previous incident in case there were other women involved. I expect the woman he groped will do nothing about it. It’s pretty grim raking through the ashes.

[KIP.]

I reported my ex and I don’t regret it one bit. If it helps his next victim or previous victim, I’m fine with that. Can you reduce contact to via a third party? Any contact with these men is toxic. The behaviour of my ex was off the scale anyway so reporting him wasn’t going to make me suffer anymore. It also showed him that I’m not a victim anymore. I held him accountable and I would encourage any woman who has been abused to report it. It’s not always your word against his if he abuses others x

[Tractor]

maddog- oh my days!!! had you arrested , that’s terrible and one of those really nasty tactics that they use but luckily agencies know the tricks. Good on you for seeing it through.

Hi KIP – I have the number for the ppiu going to ring today for some advice. Cant think of anybody as a third party ive spoken to the nspcc today who suggested I ring womens aid helpline so ive left a message also. Feel like im stuck in a never ending nightmare one ex violent and the other so clever and manipulative ! x

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