Has anyone called the police and it helped?

[Blossom24]

Hi

i reached out to WA (detail removed by Moderator) months back because I was so unhappy, the kids were unhappy and had it confirmed his behaviour was controlling and abusive.

i left (detail removed by Moderator) months ago now and he is still bombarding me with messages and some really not nice ones, he can’t even manage pleasantries at hand over, playing the victim and saying this to the kids about how I wanted this and he didn’t etc. I don’t retaliate to them and have grievances my side which I just keep quiet about and get on with.

we have children together so I’m trying to keep it civil for their sake but I’m seriously considering reporting him but I know it’s going to make the future hard.

do I report it to stop it now and risk losing complete contact with him, his sister etc. or do I ride it out and hope it settles down soon?

thanks xx

[Lisa]

Hello Blossom24,

I just wanted to offer some support on your post as I can hear that you’re feeling in two minds about the possibility of speaking to the police about what you’re going through.

I’m sure other users will be able to offer some advice based on their experience of receiving support from the police. In the meantime, it might be worth considering how the possibility of having police records, logs or crime reference numbers may help in the future if you are in need of evidence of the abuse, many women find this to be helpful long term. Of course, it is completely your choice and you are based placed to judge your own safety and wellbeing.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[minimeerkat]

you are doing so well not to react to any of his behaviour & for trying your very best to prevent your children being affected by the situation as much as possible.  but it does not sound very easy at all though, bless your heart.  are you keeping a record of the messages etc just in case you do need them at any point in the future.

i suppose there is always the possibility a warning would be sufficient but its whether you think this would be like a red rag to a bull & make his behaviour worse – have you discussed all these thoughts & concerns with your local da service

as lisa has already mentioned, if the police were contacted your ex partners behaviour could at least be recorded – but she is also right when saying only you will know whether you feel any action will leave you more vulnerable & your safety then be at risk x

 

[minimeerkat]

p.s. and just to say that sadly not everyone has a positive experience with the police but they were involved in my situation several times & were extremely helpful

[Marmalade]

Hi,

As others have said this is a v personal decision. I would say think everything through before you make a decision. Are you prepared for the disruption a report would make , how would you feel if the police discontinued after speaking to him. Also, once you report it is out of your hands. You have no control over what the police do with the information you give them.

Some women on this forum have had a supportive and positive experience with police. Others, like me had an horrific time which was retraumatising.

Do what is right for you and your family but only after thinking through all the consequences carefully .

Good luck.

[Author]

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