Has anyones

[Anonymous]

Stopped the physical abuse but continued with the emotional abuse? Remember back to when I were with my ex it just seemed to stop after about (detail removed by moderator) but the rest continued. X

 

[Escapee]

Hi,

My ex started to escalate his behaviour to be physical many years ago but I managed to put a stop to it (though I don’t believe this is typical). However, the emotional/psychological and sexually coercive behaviour became much worse over the years (or maybe it just finally wore me down).

Thanks to another lady on here I’ve now learnt about monopolisation of perception which has been the most screwed up and damaging aspect for me.

I hope this answers your question

[Hellohellohello111]

Yes I used to be physically abused but now it is all emotional and it is worse. It is worse as it took me so long to realise what had been happening to me mentally and how I’ll it was making me

[Wants To Help]

Hi ladies,

When physical abuse is used at the beginning of a relationship this is to exert power to induce fear, it is so that we know what he is capable of. The Coercive Controller abuser knows that to keep using physical violence he is more at risk of being accountable for his abuse, as physical violence leaves injuries, and injuries equal evidence. This puts him at risk of arrest and prosecution, things he wants to avoid, especially if he is a man in a position of privilege, authority and a reputation to uphold. The Coercive Controller is the most dangerous abuser because he is calculating and manipulative, his tactics are hard to prove as the only evidence seems to be your word against his, that is why he sets out to destroy you emotionally and isolate you from a support network, and tries his best to convince everyone that you are emotional, unstable, and that your account has no credibility to it. The following paragraph sums the CC up, which is why he no longer needs to use the physical violence.

This abuser micro-manages their partner’s life. The relationship has its own rules, rituals and sanctions. The abuser will isolate their partner and may deprive them of money, transport and food. They will use techniques of surveillance and ‘gaslighting’. They will strip away the victim’s liberty and sense of self. The aim is to gain total domination, not to win compliance over one thing. Threats may have no substance but the belief of them is real. Victims give up the fight to leave as they are too scared to do so. This is a campaign of abuse held together by fear.

[Author]

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