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    • #41488
      Alicenotichains
      Participant

      It’s a simple question but I would say that one of the things I have noticed after 2 abusive relationships is that you totally lose your sparkle when you are with one of these men. And I guess no matter how they abuse you, if you feel the light inside you dim or go out, their darkness is overcoming you and you need to get away from the relationship .
      Sometimes the question needs to be focused on us rather than them? I spent a lot of time thinking “is this abuse??” But actually I just had to look at the effect of their behaviour on me to answer that question. The sparkly me completely disappeared. I was too busy watching my mouth, walking on egg shells, trying not to incur their wrath. That is no way to live. I can feel the sparkle coming back now they are gone. Time for me to shine again x*x

    • #41489
      KIP.
      Participant

      My friend bought me a lovely wall plaque that says ‘Never let anyone dull your sparkle’. Very true đź‘Ť

    • #41495
      Alicenotichains
      Participant

      She sounds like a nice friend KIP. x

    • #41499
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      Hi. Exact same for me. I use the word spirit. He took that away from me. It’s definitely coming back tho 🙂

    • #41508
      Lyng
      Participant

      So true. He took away the true me. The one he said he loved then turned around and tried to destroy.

    • #41575
      Lightness
      Participant

      ‘The light that you could never see
      It shines inside, you can’t take that from me’ Madonna, Live to Tell

      Alice – I also feel the sparkle coming back now I have left – it certainly sounds like you still have yours, and it will get stronger.

    • #41821
      Knots
      Participant

      This is such a positive discussion ladies. I lost the knowledge that I even had a sparkle once and thought I was just naturally a depressive. Even if I looked ok on the outside I felt no real happiness within, but I know that’s because of my awful relationship, having to watch what I say and do, never knowing if I get carried away in a happy moment I’ll get criticised and put in my place. Can’t wait for this to stop and I get away. I’ll think sparkle whenever I feel I can’t do this.
      Good luck to you all, I hope your sparkle keeps growing. X

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