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    • #126543
      I love books
      Participant

      Hi everyone.
      I am new here have been reading forum for three years and it has helped me to make decision to leave.
      I have been with my partner for a long time not married but engaged.
      We have one child together and I have a child from a previous relationship (detail removed by moderator).
      I just thought I would list some points down to confirm it is abuse.
      1.Has been verbally abusive called me names like mentally ill (detail removed by moderator) the c word which I hate.
      2.Has broken my mobile phones in past.
      3.(detail removed by moderator)
      4.smashed glass (detail removed by moderator).
      5.Has been arrested (detail removed by moderator) since I have been with him.
      6.Know he was arrested in a previous relationship.
      7.These behaviour normally happen when he is drunk.
      I could go on.
      I am staying at my sisters at moment trying to process everything.
      He has now told my d that he is selling the family home and moving.
      My s is about to(detail removed by moderator)
      All my belongings are there.
      Think I need legal advice on top of everything else.
      Thank you for reading.

    • #126545
      Living Warrior
      Participant

      Yeh I would get legal advise hun.
      I am so sorry you are going through this. I can see why you have left and you are so brave in doing so.
      There are such orders that help you stay in the family home and make him leave.. occupation orders.. but I am not sure about what happens if he wants to sell.. in the eyes of the court he should give you half of the money.. if you have lived there and can prove that you contributed to the bills or ur name is on the house too..
      But yes I would definitely get legal advice to deal with that..
      It’s such a shame people behave like these men do, I am sending you love and strength.

    • #126549
      I love books
      Participant

      Thank you for your reply living warrior.
      I think you are right.
      Just can’t think straight at moment.
      One minute I am really anxious then feel
      Sad and angry.
      I feel frozen if that makes sense I have all these plans but can’t seem to do anything.

    • #126550
      tiredanddrained
      Participant

      Sounds like typical abuser behaviour. Whenever i finish it due to the abuse i get him saying he is moving away. It is always alot of rubbish and yet again another manipilative technique to hurt you if you leave so you think it is easier to go back. – I always find this part of them being nasty makes you stronger. It is when my ex starts saying sorry i end up seeing his good side and because i sm an empath forgiving him. – try and write down the good things down and the bad things. This helps me stay strong. It is so hard and you do not deserve to be humiliated and embaressed by someone elses behaviour. You end up a nervous wreck. The namecalling and shouting comes before the pushing me around. But even without the physical. Namecalling takes it’s toll and you dereserve to be kind to yourself. Sounds like he isn’t and trying to hurt you more. So protect yourself as he is just caring about number 1. This forum helps me stay strong. You have been very brave as turning your life upside down is not easy. It is traumatic. I’m sorry you are going through this. xx

    • #126554
      I love books
      Participant

      Thank you tired and drained.
      That makes sense.
      I am a nervous wreck.
      When I left (detail removed by moderator)
      He followed me in his car and started yelling abuse at me in public.
      Trying to take car off me I managed to not give him keys.
      We live in a small place where everyone knows each other.
      So my (detail removed by moderator) came out to see what the shouting was about she is a friend of mine and I am so grateful that she heard him as I wasn’t sure if anyone would believe me.
      A lady(detail removed by moderator) also came out and threatened to call police.

    • #126574
      I love books
      Participant

      Just to add I was in a car myself (detail removed by moderator)

    • #126577
      I love books
      Participant

      He keeps messaging me now.
      Saying he (detail removed by moderator) I don’t trust him.
      Also shall he send some of my things (detail removed by moderator).
      Obviously I love reading as my username suggests.

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