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    • #171796
      Elaine7
      Participant

      I separated from my ex (detail removed by Moderator) years ago, was abusive  towards me, had problems with cocaine and alcohol, tried mediation, solicitors he wasn’t interested. He just kept trying to take our son. My son’s not seen him in (detail removed by Moderator) years, I’ve not heard from him in (detail removed by Moderator)… My solicitor at the time said there’s no point filing for court as he’s just gone. But I feel like I’m in limbo waiting for something. I didn’t realise until recently that I can’t do things like take my son on holiday without his permission. Should I have pushed for court? Should I do it now. Should I go ahead put orders in place. Or do I keep a low profile and keep safeguarding my son and protect my self… I feel highly anxious ATM because after (detail removed by Moderator) months of no contact my sons paternal grandfather has reached out and that is something else I don’t know what to do about.  My son’s not seen him in over (detail removed by Moderator) months, hes finally settled at school (he’s autistic) . Im not sure what to do about that either .. feel like the walls are closing in ATM. Sorry about the vent I don’t know who to talk to

       

    • #171823
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Elaine7,

      Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. That contact from your sons grandfather must have been triggering for you. grandparents do not have any parental rights so you do not have to facilitate any contact if you don’t want to.

      You know what feels best for your son- you mentioned that he is settled and it sounds like you have his best interests at heart. His father chooses to be abusive and has made a choice to not be a positive presence in your sons life. You are not responsible for that.

      The Coram Children’s Legal Centre provide free legal resources with advice and information on all aspects of family, child and education law, including relationship breakdown; parental disputes, duties of children’s services; child protection. They can be contacted on 0300 330 5480 (10am-4pm, Mon-Fri) and through their webchat service (8:30am-5:30pm Mon-Fri).

      Best Wishes

      Lisa

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