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    • #62775
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      After years of abuse, I have my own home,

      I recently lost my job but now have a new one,but I just can’t cope I just cant take it in. At this rate I will lose my job.

      Also recently my mum pass away and I just feel so lost.

      Its awful to say but when I was being abused I was so control I wouldn’t be feeling half of what I do know.

      What I like would be able to stop working and heal but I have a large mortgage so its not an option.

      I’m sure that others have been in this position how did you get through it?

    • #62777
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I don’t have advice but just wanted to reply to you to say how sorry I am for your loss and for how you are feeling now. It must be so hard having to deal with grief plus the aftermath of your abuse and the weight of mortgage etc.

      Is there any way of temporarily cutting down hours or using any annual leave at all?
      I didn’t want to read and run and am sending hugs .

      X*x

    • #62783
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Thank you for replying Anonon xx

    • #62980
      Eve1
      Participant

      Hi Falling Skys,

      Sorry to hear you’re feeling so low. I think when we get free after years of abuse there is a lot to cope with. And often we have responsibilities, and as you say, don’t have time to stop and heal.

      Are you having any counselling? Losing your Mum is hard enough at any time. When my Mum died I had some sessions with Cruse bereavement counselling and it helped. Are you taking antidepressants? They helped me a lot.

      Working when you feel low is tough. I agree that trying for less hours could help.

      You’ve gone through such a lot. Do what you can to give yourself a break.

      Hope you’re feeling a bit better

      Love
      Eve
      x

    • #62993
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi Eve

      Many thanks for your reply, I hadn’t thought about bereavement counselling I will look into it.

      I am also looking for another position in a less stressful environment. But part of me thinks that changing my job won’t be the answer.

      I have made an appointment to see a doctor.

      FS xx

    • #62995
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hey there, I remember your incredible journey to freedom. It was brave and inspiring what you went through and you should be immensely proud of yourself. It’s sounds, like me, that you can be harsh on yourself when you should be gentle and encouraging. Hard to do when recovering from abuse and all the associated problems. I was wondering how you would feel about renting a room out in your home. For a couple of years this was not an option for me because of my mental health but now I’m wondering if the extra money and company would actually benefit me. The other thing is to restrict all other activities outside your work until you feel better. So don’t take on any extra stresses in your life. Simplifying things for me gave my brain the chance to sort through the abuse and I find that extra stress of any kind can make me worse. Also, remember the basics to feed and water yourself, try to get regular sleep and force yourself out for walks. Pop your ear phones in, favouring music and put one foot in front of the other. Thinking of you x

    • #63028
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi KIP

      Many thanks for your input, I do have very high expectation for myself.

      I have started to cut back on activities, I have been over filling my life to make up for the years that I was controlled.

      I will think about getting a lodger if needs be, but at the moment I am learning to live with me and find out who I am.

      FS x

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