He attacked me I think it was my fault

[Stuckinafishbowl]

He’s been staying while looking for a place to go but I think he stopped looking and was being really nice again. Love bombing me I now realise.
I wrote what happened down I will copy and paste below I just need to get it out somewhere as no one knows. I am waiting for police to take my statement. I’m such a mess I am on high alert constantly I’m exhausted and the toddler asks for him sometimes it breaks my heart I don’t know what to say or do. I’m terrified of everything and everyone right now. I just want this to be over.

I was trying to talk to him normally about something (Detail of abuse removed by moderator). I pulled myself up properly and cried there for a little bit before the babies woke up so I went to see to them. I remember my throat feeling tight and my hand and arm really hurting when I went upstairs. While upstairs I heard a lot of banging before a car pulled up and he got in it and left. My memory is really hazy as I was so shocked, scared and upset. I went back downstairs after he’d left to lock the doors and clean the glass. I could not find the back door keys and there was sick in the sink and drug bits everywhere. He was in a very manic state all night and was going on rants about being a good guy but he just needed drugs and he was happy and would do the right things, be a good dad, go to work etc. He also went on about his past as a kid with his parents and how bad it was. I don’t think he was in good frame of mind. He had been using cocaine a couple nights before (detail removed by moderator).

[liftingthefog]

This sounds absolutely horrible and I really hope you are okay.
You are NOT safe in this environment and I am particularly concerned that he put his hands around your throat.
Please please contact Woman’s Aid by phone and or the police.
Keep safe.
Xx

[Stuckinafishbowl]

Thank you, liftingthefog. He has left now but he does have my keys that hes supposed to have returned but now will be returning them tomorrow. So i’m still so paranoid. Choking me seems to be his go to I don’t know why, he’s done it a couple times but this was the first full on attack. I keep trying to phone womans aid by phone but I get so anxious and scared I will try again tomorrow and will also be phoning the police again as they still haven’t been out to take my statement.
I just want to feel safe in my own home again xx

[Anonymous]

Please get away as quickly as possible, call the police , very worrying and alarming for you and your child . This is not safe for you both x

[Author]

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