He got physical again

[Rainbowcloud]

I have posted on here before I have taken myabuser back many times one the last (detail removed by moderator).
His abuse is mainly mental and is on a weekly sometimes daily basis depending on his mood. His last episode involved him dragging me around the kitchen infront of my son ,we own a business together which he invested in but the concept was all my idea.
I didn’t have the funds to put in and now I’m purely staying as he will take the business I built. It kills me to hand over something I’ve worked so hard for if he leaves.
He is so good at his abuse the customers love him because his charming manor carries him through no one knows what he’s like just me and the kids.
I hate him and what he’s done to me my depression is so bad I’ve thought of suicide I’ve got no family or friends left now I’m that isolated in every way . I don’t know what to do anymore

[Chickadee]

Hi Rainbowcloud.

Dragging you across the floor is physical abuse and in front of your child. I got out when mine got to this point.

Can you do a buyout on the business and buy him out? If it comes right down to it though, there is nothing more important then yours and your child’s safety and well being.

I totally get the charming, they put the mask on.

You have several awesome women on here that have been through it and understand. You can talk to us. We are here when you need us.

Chickadee

[Rainbowcloud]

I can’t buy him out for six months at the very least and he knows this so I’m being nice to him but he knows deep down and doing what he can to be nice to me so we keep the business that could change our life as it’s going so we’ll.
I feel like six more months is pure hell with his games and tactics he uses walking on egg shells everyday slaving over him and his every need

[Chickadee]

Ok. Understood. Could you draft an agreement splitting profit of the business,(this is different in many places because it is not a direct buyout, but rather both parties retain interest in the business, so it may be more feasable in your situation and be able to be done presently), 50/50 or 60/40, after business expenditure deductions? Would you be open to him retaining it and managing it and the customer base and your receiving a monthly profit on your concept of it and work put into it? Or you could retain, if he would accept you doing so and he would receive part of profits.

I know, I totally get the games and twisted lies and tactics….being h**l.

I just hope for your sake he keeps being nice, as most abusers destroy, even if it places them in a bad position, as it’s all about harming you.

Chickadee

[KIP.]

Speak to a good solicitor. You can have him removed from the property using an exclusion order. His abuse will escalate as he senses you’re wanting out of the relationship. There will be other opportunities to build a business without him. It’s child abuse when children witness this behaviour. Keep a journal and try to record the abuse. Speak to your GP. You can rent somewhere else or go into a refuge meantime. Do not believe a word he says.

[Confused-and-alone]

Hi I just wanted to tell you that you’re not alone. I too am in business with my husband and we live in but don’t own the building where we work. I have worked for years helping him build our business and it’s looking like we are going to make a lot money over the next few years. But I am now looking at leaving everything – our business our home and everything in it. I feel resentful that I helped put into this business when we had nothing and had to work hard for little profit and things are coming good and he’s going to get it all and I’ve just got to walk away because of his behaviour.

But as others have said at the end of the day nothing is more important than your safety and your mental health – which will be suffering from walking on egg shells all the time. Stay safe and remember everything can be replaced except you and your child.

[Rainbowcloud]

I agree in terms of us coming up with an arrangement that will never happen he always wants his way and always wins! I wanted to just lay the loan he took out and take my half and he take his and I can decide from there wthgehr to carry on.
He would never enter any arrangement and that means me having contact with him after all this which I wouldn’t want as he would only manipulate me.
I feel like he always wins he hoards his miney while I pay everything and if I moan he just kicks off so I keep my mouth shut I hate him but I’m trapped with it all.
He always takes everything before he left and took all my electrical appliances I looked like I had been burgled the kids were crying because he took the ones he bought that’s how petty he is :-/ hate my life and I hate this massive act he puts on so eveyrone thinks he is a nice guy but he’s not he’s nasty and selfish and no one knows!

[KIP.]

Get good legal advice about the finances. Don’t believe a word he says.

[Author]

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