he has won

[chocolatefudgecake]

this is how im feeling right now…

went and make my statement and crumbled like an idiot. Feeling like ive failed everything, i didnt fight to show i was incocent instead i sat and cried. The solictior said wont go any further and it will be end the life but it means he has won

Why did i bother

[Serenity]

Hi There,

Can you repeat again what your solicitor said? It’s not clear.

We’ve been there- I was a crumbling mess too in front of people, but I learned to take control over time. You will gain strength too.

Hugs X

[KIP.]

Please contact victim support. Remember you have the right to review the decision not to prosecute him X don’t be hard on yourself, you’ve been through real trauma

[chocolatefudgecake]

My solictior said that the case wont go no further, as he doesnt want take further i.e court. I didnt give a full statement as i got upset cuz they made me go through as that had happended.

Im not sure if its worth going to the proscuation service as its just guna bring me more heart ache

[Falling Skys]

Hi CFC

Big big hugs, he has not won you are free of him.

It is up to you if you take it further, do what ever you need to do to heal.

FS x

[Healthyarchive]

Dear CFC, he has NOT won, not in any way shape or form, it is YOU who has won.

Your ex decided to not proceed? is that right? If that is the case he did this because he knows deep down he is lying and will not get away with it under scrutiny. You did the decent and honorable thing by going to the police station and making a statement, despite knowing what you were being accused of was pure lies, that takes real bravery. It is you who have removed him from your life, you won when you did that – he lost. I dont think that you have anything to regretful about, you have done the greatest thing in freeing yourself of a toxic man. X*X (your mood will lift soon).

[chocolatefudgecake]

Thank you falling skys, they say time is a great healer but it never worked for me last time.

Healthyarchive my solictior was told by the police that he wasnt sure wether he wants to proceed further with this claim once ive been questioned.i didnt feel brave when i cried and asked to go home 🙁 yeah it was me that got shot of him first time around, even after acting in madness. There has been zero contact since

[Healthyarchive]

Dear CFC, there has been zero contact with me too, on both sides, well 100% NC from him and 99.9% NC from me, the 0.1% was when I sent him one short message wishing him well & that was only because I felt sorry for him. Please do try to have a look at some of those links that I sent you, they really do open your mind up to further understanding what you are going through & why you feel the way that you do. It has only been recently that my mindset has shifted again. I have begun to feel grateful in a way to my ex as he has led me to such a positive path now. I have gained in strength, understanding and resilience, this has been a powerful learning curve for me. The months of heartache and yearning have made me a stronger person. Months ago I was a broken women, now my days are mainly calm, focussed and with thoughts that are not all about abuse. It just takes time, reading the books, offloading on here & the freedom programme. X*X

[chocolatefudgecake]

I think i still have the names of the books u said to read, if not can i have them again please? I am looking into the freedom programme and have regular with my doctor as i feel if i bottle it up il explode. I just get down and people dont understand everything, did u find that? X

[Healthyarchive]

One week before splitting up I was a candidate for the psychiatric ward. I chased him a lot, i changed myself inside out, admitting things that I hadn’t done but believed I had done as I was blamed for every single thing. I basically scraped further than the bottom of the barrel, crawling, begging, trying to work it out, I tried so hard, changed myself inside out, hugely over compromised, gave everything that I had. His response, to ignore me totally and not respond. When we officially finished, again another highly confusing scenario, i think full of mixed messages, manipulation and mind games by him, hot & cold, on & off, nice then ignoring. I have since learnt from all of the reading that I do, all of the mixed messages and mind games that go on are deliberate on their part, to keep you guessing. Once we formerly finished I felt happier and clearer headed, at least at that point I knew the position and could strategize how to work through it. Post split its not easy, you have a lot of missing them & heartache, this dulls as the time goes on. There is always an element of confusion & What Ifs, but I think this was always designed by the abuser to keep him an “Ever Presence” In your life. I will send you those book details again. My life now is a million trillion times better than it was when I was with him, though I still have days where I ask myself “Who was in my life”, “‘what happened”, and I go over it in my head.

[chocolatefudgecake]

Omg that was awful, i thought my story was bad, but it sounds like i got off lightly. The night of the attack i did chase him and begged for forgiveness and i wanted him to stay with me, i did some crazy stuff that left me with scars.

Even when he finally got home back on his own turf so to speak i still begged, i contacted his family memebers i was a mess, i didnt wana live. I was slowly getting back to normal, i still had moments of tears and tempatation to contact him. I use to cry when i hearded songs, i then began looking for love in othet exes, and now im back to square one.

I found the books will download them shortly

[Author]

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