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    • #80036
      Rainbowcloud
      Participant

      He’s never hit me been a few years with him and he’s not hit me before.
      I came in from work after an awful awful day the boss gave me a warning I pulled (detail removed by moderator) about something on his social media that I wasn’t amused about.
      I admit I probably did go OTT when I had a go at him but he’s never supportive to me I was really really upset about what happened at work as I need my job so much I can’t afford to lose it and my boss is a n********t as well who picks on me constantly. Anyway I came upstairs and he came up and went into a massive rant saying I’m mental and I deserve the warning I got at work then he tried to smash my phone up I was just sitting there I wasn’t doing anything wrong then he punched me full force in the leg it really hurt in my thigh for no reason just because I had challenged him on something five minutes before. I was so shocked I tried to get my phone back and he just kept throwing it alt the wall and stamping on it there’s a case on there so thankfully it’s ok and seems to be working.
      Then he kept texting me after saying it was my fault and I caused it etc and sayings he’s going to leave well I want him to leave anyway.
      I’ve come out I. A bruise all on my thigh now I’m in bed and have locked my door. He just stormed off taking no blame on this it’s all my fault I feel so so low I get bullied at work bullied at home there’s not end to it and I can’t leave work I’m trapped

       

    • #80076
      KIP.
      Participant

      I would ring the police and report the assault. Take photos of the bruise and show them his text messages. This is your chance to get out and get the help you need. This was my turning point when my ex became violent. That’s a line I wasn’t prepared for him to cross. It’s only going to get worse now. He chose your thigh because he knows it won’t show in public. Abuse always gets worse x

    • #80079
      NewWings
      Participant

      Hi once they have hit you, its the point of no return. He should have supported you re your boss so you had a bad day so what. There is no way someone who cares about you would say its your fault and that you’re mental. That is exactly the profile of an abuser. This will only go one way, he has now given you your ticket out. He will probably beg forgiveness when he sees that the other tactics have failed. Get gone, change the locks etc. I was never hit and in fact he claimed that I hit him on three separate occasions, this never happened of course. However, I do have a mental health issue that I put squarely down to him, he played with my mind so badly I could have succumbed but I didn’t. Keep strong he is not worth moment longer of your time.

    • #80110
      J@jmum
      Participant

      You have what many people don’t- evidence!
      Its invalid. Stay strong and don’t listen when he switches to being oh so sorry.
      Violence is the point of no return. Think about where the line is now, is there one, what is he actually capable of?

      If you unfortunately don’t feel ready to leave or report it please promise you will store the texts and store pics of injuries somewhere super safe. Then you have them in the future.

      Also Clares law, maybe you need to know if he has a past of this stuff.

      Stay on these forums as they help give confidence and reassurance. Helps me loads

    • #80132
      Rainbowcloud
      Participant

      Thank you everyone he tried to be nice yesterday and normal he acted like nothing happened. I went to work I felt bad depression all day I’ve got no money at the moment either which he knows about and won’t give me any money.
      Last night I hardly spoke to him we went to bed and I said last night you punched me and I’m bruised I showed him the bruise he goes no I never hit you I said you did look right here he was completely sober etc when it happened he denied it completely and laughed about it. I just went to sleep I mean the mental abuse is bad enough but the physical abuse and then he denies it as well. I know he won’t just leave the house either it’s hard to be normal and nice with him he’s nasty then he started giving me this lecture about money and that I’m not good with it and I’m lending money off my family to make him look bad that’s not true at all. He’s got a lot of money I am really struggling and he gives me the bare minimum.
      If I didn’t have the kids I wouldn’t be here anymore that’s how I feel

    • #80136
      Tiffany
      Participant

      Contact women’s aid and see what your options are. It sounds like refuge might be a good option, even though you would have to quit your job. Try to be open to different possibilities. It’s easy when you are being abused, to think you can’t change things. In my case I thought I couldn’t afford to leave my abuser because my job didn’t pay enough to pay rent in my city. In the end I left anyway. Turned out my job really didn’t pay enough to pay the rent and I ended up moving back in with my parents for a while. Honestly at the time I felt like an utter failure. But it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I am no longer suffering abuse, which would make it all worth it without anything else. My ex was financially abusing me (as well as being emotionally and latterly physically abusive) and making me believe I couldn’t handle money. Now I am out, although I don’t have the best paid job in the world, I am paid enough to put a bit by every month, and I now have more in my savings account than I ever had before. But even if I didn’t, I escaped the abuse, and that’s worth all the money in the world.

    • #80151
      KIP.
      Participant

      Go to your GP. Get the injuries noted and tell them what’s going on. It will help you in future when things escalate x

    • #80206
      Rainbowcloud
      Participant

      Thanks everyone the bruise has got worse and worse actually am now wondering if he grabbed my leg aswell but I can’t remember as I’ve got two next to each other but one is like a handmark like I was grabbed too.
      He’s gone out now I asked him to give me money for some essential items he tried to give me £10 I said that’s not enough and he started on a rant and said he will go the shops himself and sort it so I’ve sent him a list I reallt hate him it’s weird how I can go from loving him so much to pure hatred now

    • #80212
      KIP.
      Participant

      Take photos and hide them somewhere. Abuse always gets worse and now he knows he’s got off with it this time, it will be worse next time and nothing to stop him. No consequences. Think about reporting him or at least speaking to domestic abuse police or your GP. The more we expose the abuse the more real it will seem. Abuse thrives on silence. Financial abuse is a crime now x

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