- This topic has 6 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Im having a really hard time lately with the aftermath of a psychologically and physically abusive relationship I ended a few years ago. My ex keeps filing false police reports either to hurt me or detract from his own charges and I find it scary.
We lived together in his country but I am from the UK. After I left the relationship and reported him to the police in his country, I came back to stay with family in the UK a while.
The harassment continued and I filed a complaint with the UK police who couldnt do anything because he was overseas. I told him about the report to scare him to leave me alone and instead he filed a counter allegation alleging all kinds of ridiculous things – including that we were not together and I was a deluded crazy woman that imagined a relationship (had to show police bills and proof we lived together to prove I wasnt insane!) I think the police could not believe the ridiculousness of it. Eventually, the police told him not to contact me again and threw it out as him wasting police time.
That was well over (detail removed by Moderator) ago and I have had zero contact. I returned to his country which is where I work. I heard nothing about my case until I was asked into the police station to answer questions regarding my report against him (detail removed by Moderator) ago.
He works in (detail removed by Moderator) which is particularly scary for me. Then (detail removed by Moderator), police came to my house and seized my electronics for searching. They took my laptop that I need for work, my phone, and an old spare phone. You would think I was a drug baron the way they searched every corner of the house aggressively. I know this would not have happened if it were not for his job. It feels like such a scary abuse of power. This time he alleges (detail removed by Moderator) because I spoke about leaving an abusive relationship on (detail removed by Moderator) and (foolishly) screenshot and uploaded a message of him threatening (detail removed by Moderator). I dont understand how he can claim (detail removed by Moderator)when sending the messages is a threart
I have a Lawyer who is confident I have nothing to worry about. But Im scared. He was able to abuse his power and order the seizure of my things. It will be his friends and colleagues checking my devices. He should not be allowed access to my file and the ability to see my updated address, etc.
I just signed a lease on a new house but now Im anxious as to whether I should leave the country.
-
Hi there, I know how you feel. I’m wondering what reasons they gave for seizing your electronic devices. Is it part of their investigation into his behaviour? I’d trust what your solicitor says. I’ve been on the receiving end of malicious reporting from my ex too. And it’s delusional but scary for that reason. Do you have support from a domestic abuse charity where you are? My ex accused me of the most outrageous things. Unbelievable things with absolutely no proof. To leave the country is your decision but I refused to leave my home and I built a support network around me. Do you have a Police marker on your home? Do the police have a domestic abuse unit? Are there any organisations you can reach out to?
-
Hi Kip,
Thank you for your help as always. The devices were seized as part of a preliminary investigation into me for (detail removed by Moderator)!!! I can imagine the fabricated nonsense he would have written and the ridiculous thing is that he ordered the seizure of my devices himself which should surely be seen as abusive.My Lawyer said this type of search here is not appropriate for the “crime” (apparent (detail removed by Moderator) by speaking about abuse). It is usually reserved for things like rape, murder, etc so its profound that that happened.
I dont trust the police here and I am scared because after all of his abuse, he still works for (detail removed by Moderator) after my report and it seems like heels are being dragged on purpose. Yet his report against me is picked up immediately.
(detail removed by Moderator) is a crime here, even if true if attempting to insult. There are domestic violence charities here that are aware of the situation. Maybe I should call them again.
-
I am becoming really anxious and stressed with this and don´t know where to turn. Speaking to my Lawyer, he has never heard of someone´s devices being seized for the reasons given. This would not have happened if my ex was not a (detail removed by Moderator) but it is terrifying he is allowed to get away with it. I have contacted the British Embassy, domestic violence charities here, and an internal affairs department of the police. It feels like such an abuse of power. Nobody has replied and everything is so slow in the country where I am.
I would like to return to the UK but it´s not easy because of covid and I also have pets I need to get passports for. Since the seizure I am constantly anxious he/the police are going to be at my door again. I can´t think of anything else just scared and sick with worry.
-
Do you have a local politician who can support you? I got the help of my MP. Is there an equivalent of chief Constable or head of the police force. Whoever is your contact at the police station over there. Email them for a full update and reasons why as a victim your devices were taken. Copy in the chief Constable. Get your lawyer to write to the chief of police with their concerns that a perpetrator is involved in the case. If he’s requesting these in his professional capacity that’s unacceptable and he should be nowhere near this case. Shout loud x
-
Thank you Kip. My devices were taken because he has filed a counter report against me for defamation (here it´s defamation even if true if it harms the persons reputation (!!))
Now there are criminal charges pending against both of us. However his against me are being investigated by his own department and instigated by him. He is the Chief Constable in his department. They are also being prioritised and speeded along so it looks like two seperate charges when it is not. I only (stupidly) screenshot an abusive message from him on social media after being continually harassed after filing reports. Perhaps I can contact another department. I have emailed Internal Affairs but everything is so slow here.
My Lawyer tried to get some information from the police but all they say is defamation. He believes there is more to it than that as people´s devices are never seized in this way for that reason. He also said that if they had a reason to arrest me, they would have, so by being purposefully vague, it´s like he and his department are scrolling through my devices looking for things to say are a crime.
They have also given the stupid analogy that they don´t have to give information to me while building a case against me until I am summoned to answer for charges. The analogy they gave is ¨well for example a murderer has no right to know what information the police are gathering against him¨. I don´t think a woman speaking on social media about an ex abusing and harassing her is quite the same. I can´t believe this is even happening. But this country has a problem with corruption so that´s what scares me.
-
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
