He left me and I feel sick :-(

[Blondexxxx]

Hi, so I find myself on these boards again.
we have been together nearly (detail removed by moderator)

He’s always been verbally abusive towards me for years, always telling me it’s his house not mine and told to leave with the kids every argument we have.
he calls me and says I do nothing for him and he does everything for me ( he doesn’t at all, he will do something nice like send me some money for my hair doing) after he’s been absolutely awful and ignored me for days.

we have a child together and (detail removed by moderator), he was texting me telling me he loved me and missed me but then the next night I heard nothing at all no text or call. I tried to call to see if his phone was on and he did phone back asking what my problem was etc so then I ended up getting abuse accusing me of being on dates all weekend even though I had our son all weekend and iv never ever cheated on him?

I flipped and sent him a message saying I was fed up and can’t take much more as I do nothing wrong and constantly accused!
I did something I had never done and I blocked him! well that provoked so much nastiness he made a social media account and started messaging me on me saying how he met someone else and she was better than me, he then started following loads of women and it brought back all these horrible feelings from years ago when he cheated on me

 

so I blocked him on the social media and then when he got home he continued to be horrible… (detail removed by moderator) even though I work hard, I look after my appearance and the kids and I always spend time keeping the kids entertained

I never once ask him for a penny I just pay half the bills every monyh

 

he stood there telling me this new woman (detail removed by moderator) so I couldn’t help myself and I squirted him with my water :-/

Well it was my own fault but he jumped out of the chair and smacked me in the back of the head and pulled my hair.

I half deserved it but he pushed a reaction out of me and I do feel bad as I feel like I caused it but he was being so horrible towards me

 

anyway it didn’t stop there he started shouting so I ran into the bathroom where our child was and locked the door but he kicked the door to get in and (detail removed by moderator)

 

(detail removed by moderator)

anyway he asked me to get out of his house but I had no wheee to go so he’s moved out and gone to his mums house

 

he’s now cancelled our family holiday and the kids are so upset

 

his mum said because I said I wasn’t going but I okly said that at the time as I was so upset at the fact he told me he was seeing someone else and also how nasty he was being!

now I regret saying it and the kids are left without a holiday

 

he’s not been home but keeps coming back when I go out and taking his things and said won’t be back until I’m gone.

I feel so sick as I wasn’t happy for years but when he was nice I was happy. But I miss him so much and I haven’t even gone to work as I felt depressed and sick to the stomach 🙁

 

my son doesn’t even want to see him as he’s getting anxiety about his dad but he hasn’t even got in touch anyway

 

I can’t stop blaming myself 🙁

[Allornothing]

Hi 👋

This sounds like an exhausting mind game that he is playing, he is taking all of the control and belittling you. Sounds like the water in the face was a reaction to being verbally hurt and so what if you said you didn’t want to go on holiday, this man is saying he had met someone else!

Only you can decide what to do, having been there myself, the amount of times I stayed until one day I decided enough is enough and took the control. Please seek advice from a women’s centre or chat online.

You need to think about your options, start by seeking advice, find any organisations near you which womens aid should be able to help you with. Perhaps even reach out to the council just so they have a record of you. I take it you didn’t call the police? What he did is abuse, not only what he did to you but also breaking into the bathroom when a child was present. By gaining knowledge, you will become stronger. Even if now is not the time, start the communications and reaching out. Get any support that you can as this will help focus your mind. Sending you lots of love xx

[Happybelle]

One day you will read that back and say to yourself what the hell. 

please do not blame yourself this is absolutely not your fault. He sounds horrible and no matter how hard and how much it hurts get yourself out of there and protect your child.  You can do it. You will be surprised at yourself at how much strength you have.
it’s hard. Very good luck to you x

[Author]

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