He made me eat pictures

[Painandsorrow]

I’m stuck in my situation
I know I can’t get out but it helps to write

(Detail removed by Moderator) after 3 days non stop verbal abuse or complete silence towards me
My husband found some pictures I drew of how I felt ( sad faces ect )

That day – he called his parents to our table
He said I had to explain myself and the images

I said it’s just how I feel , I draw sad things when I’m sad

He called the his family to watch and He said You have two options

Eat your drawings now or I will devorse you and change the locks when you leave

I said no I won’t ?!? Why would you even suggest such things

After arguing about this for a while and refusing , his mum started pleading with me to eat the paper ( so we wouldn’t split )

After sometime he held me against the wall and shoved it all in my mouth then pushed me in the floor in front of our family

He said it’s my fault and I have prevoked everything

I can’t belive I was made to eat paper I’m so upset this has happened to me . And they saw

He’s not sorry , he’s predicting it hasn’t happened
Has anyone ever heard of this before ?

[Poodlepower]

I’m so sorry that that happened to you, it’s really horrific. I don’t even know what to say…so upset for you, I wish I could give you a massive hug x*x
Can you leave him?

[Lisa]

Hi Painandsorrow,

Welcome to the Forum and thank you for sharing with us. I am so sorry to hear of the abuse you have experienced. Well done for reaching out on here. There will be support and understanding from others who have experienced similar abuse.

Are you able to call the 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline (0808 2000 247) when your husband and family are not around? The Helpline Workers will listen to you and discuss any options available based on your circumstances. It is a busy service but there is a voicemail to request a call back at a safe and convenient time. Your local support group can also offer ongoing emotional and practical support. Details of your local group can be found here.

Please do keep posting to us when you can. You don’t have to go through this alone.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[KIP.]

There is help out there. You only think you are stuck because of the abuse but there are agencies out there who will help you. What he did to you was illegal for a start. You can ring the Domestic Abuse police on 101 and report his assault. Abuse always gets worse and it’s horrific that he did it in front of your family. Ring the helpline number on here. Abusers do things to us to ruin our self confidence and self esteem. There is a lady in the papers today who is speaking out. Her violent partner made her eat photographs of her dead relatives. I think she was from Wales and her abuser got jailed for 10 years x

[Painandsorrow]

It’s such a misirible existence

Every day is just about trying to avoid him

He’s not even sorry for what he did he thinks it’s ok 🙁

People make it sound easy – but it’s not , I called a few lines and explained my situation
They even can’t given me a way out

We’re so joined I can’t work out how it can seperate and not hurt my family

What will he do to me

I know it’s not going to be good

[Tiffany]

Honestly, it sounds like the hurt he is causing you is worse than any hurt you might cause your family by leaving. Honestly, you can’t leave AND keep all your other circumstances the same. It probably is going to have some kind of cost.

I was engaged and planning a wedding when I left. And it was tough. I left a potential future. I had to accept that I might be throwing away my last chance to have children. I lost my beloved job. I lost my independence and had to move in with relatives, half way across the country, away from all my friends and most of my close family.

But even with all of these losses it was worth it. I am glad every day that I am no longer suffering from the abuse which was my daily life for so many years. Even with all those losses my life is hugely improved.

Try phoning the national helpline and see what steps they suggest. Don’t close your eyes to possible options because you think it might hurt your family. It’s ok to put yourself first, although abuse teaches us that this isn’t ok, and it takes an effort to relearn. And your family will be hurt much more badly if your husband kills you, which honestly sounds like a definite danger given the level of abuse you described above.

[freedomtochoose]

Well said tiffany. It is so hard making the move, but I too many years on, although life is still hard sometimes can and will never regret it. No matter what the challenges, the lost blood relatives it is way better here on the other side…
ftc
x

[Anabela]

Hello dear. That is horrible. I wish I could give you a hug!! And it is horrible that his mum did not stood up to you. Who in a sane mind can make you eat the paper. It’s not healthy to say the least!!!
I know how endless verbal abuse lasting days feels like. It’s awful and tiring and you can’t think straight. But it is not impossible to leave an abuser even if it is not easy either. Don’t think how your family will feel about the divorce. It is YOUR life. Be selfish. Think about yourself only now, you need to put yourself first. When a man treats you like that, there is nothing out of such marriage to be saved. There is always a way out. Call the helpline as advised by others. I haven’t been to refuge myself but maybe that could be an option for you?
I am just really concerned for your mental and physical safety. whatever you do don’t tell him face to face you want to leave him or planning on leaving or leaving. Pretend as you do you play by his rules but think think think of a way out x

[Author]

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