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    • #129323
      Goldengirl
      Participant

      I had just picked up (detail removed by moderator). Opened my car door and got in. The man in the next car got out and started to bang on my window that I had hit his car with my door (I don’t think I did). His banging got louder and I locked the doors. I slowly reversed out, scared, whilst he took photos of me and my car. I felt like I was suddenly back there being shouted at and blamed for every little thing.
      I am gutted because we ran from my ex-husband over (detail removed by moderator) and are in a good place. Even though we had to move out of the area, he still found us. He still drives through the (detail removed by moderator) where we live now several times a week but the police say they can’t do anything.
      This man shook my newly found self- confidence. I’m trying to tell myself he would not have done it to a big burly man and that it may even have been a big burly man who put a scratch on his door. However, it is not helping and I, once again, feel frightened and powerless.

    • #129326
      Goldengirl
      Participant

      Don’t get me wrong – it is upsetting when you get a scratch (and there was only a small scratch, no dent)on your car. It’s been done to me and I try to shrug it off and think they didn’t mean to do it. However, my door was not against his car and I had braced it to a halt. It was not a tight space. I feel like I’m justifying myself to myself to keep my sanity. This has really shaken me and I’m trying so hard not to fall apart. I have come so far and I feel like I’m clinging to a safety raft at the moment. I feel so stupid for allowing this to affect me so much. I’m sorry for posting this here as I know you all have problems much worse than me. I thought I was stronger than this.

    • #129327
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Goldengirl our amygdala and limbic systems have taken a repeated battering it’s triggered you when you were doing really well and you will again , the damage of abuse can leave us with ptsd, it was just a few weeks ago someone jogged passed me close and unexpected , I nearly had a full on panic attack, this never would have happened before everything . It’s a long process and I wish it would be quicker but we’ve all been seriously traumatised, you are healing , whatever it was you were doing keep doing that because something was working for you lots of love auriel 💛💛💛

    • #129331
      Bettertimesahead
      Participant

      When I came home from work today the fire brigade were parked up opposite my house, I went cold as last time I saw my husband was (detail removed by moderator) and he was arrested. Thankfully it was a false alarm somewhere but it does make you realise the long term impact.
      Hope you can try and get some peace later

    • #129332
      KIP.
      Participant

      Please try not to let this dreadful man intimidate you. It’s very triggering when something like this happens. My legs went from under me when I heard a security guard shout at some boys. Have you ever had counselling? I’d really recommend it. Also, find a mantra that suits you. Buddha says ‘do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace’. I’d also make a complaint about the police officers who say there’s nothing they can do about a stalker. There is legislation that victims fought hard to get out in place to protect others. That legislation is there to keep women like you safe. Keep a log of when and where you see your ex. If you can gather evidence and keep reporting until someone at the police station listens. Get women’s aid and victim support to help you. As for the imbecile who scared you today. He’s just a pathetic idiot who is probably having a bad day and decided to take it out on a line women. Pathetic little man and his tone would have been different if you were a man and that just speaks volumes about him. Neanderthal x

    • #129333
      Watersprite
      Participant

      What a horrible experience for you – triggers are so hard aren’t they. I try and tell myself they belong to the past thank them for trying to keep myself safe and then Practice breathing and visualise a safe place. With aggressive men after I’ve calmed – they remind me how thankful I am to have got out and not have to take that on a daily basis anymore! Take care you are incredibly strong – be kind to yourself x

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