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    • #117432
      Losingbattle
      Participant

      So I contacted the police via email and gave them a brief description of what had been happening. The following morning an officer called. I wasn’t in, he was thought. So they left a card making out I might have witnessed a crime. But then (detail removed by Moderator) another officer turned up. My husband let him in and officer pretended he was doing door to door enquiries. After he left he got into his car and drove off. My husband got very suspicious at this point. Putting 2 and 2 together her immediately questioned me, starting with, “do you swear on our kids life you haven’t reported me?” This obviously came with some swearing about how the officer behaved etc. But I was so scared i actually swore on my kids lives. I didn’t know what else to do. I knew if i didn’t he wouldn’t have believed me. But now hes going to use that against me if police do question him. I feel awful for doing it but I felt like I had no choice

    • #117438
      KIP.
      Participant

      You absolutely had no choice and it just shows how nasty this man is that he would even suggest this. My ex used to swear on his daughters life. It meant nothing to him, he was lying all the time while swearing on his child’s life. It just shows the depth of these men. Don’t let it get to you.it doesn’t count when we’re protecting ourself and our children. We do what we can to survive in an abusive relationship. And yes he will probably throw this in your face without even considering how scared you were to say it. How fearful of him you were. A new low for him. When you get the chance you need to tell these officers they’re putting you in danger. Arrange to meet them in a local park or somewhere safe for you x

    • #117463
      hop
      Participant

      Say whatever you need to say. He will use this against you but he’ll find something different. He’s a criminal and a bad man and do not waste a second of your time on feeling guilty for saying words he made you say. Stwy as safe as you can and the police must be told they’re putting you in danger. Take care lovely one 💜💙

    • #117467
      Losingbattle
      Participant

      All he kept going on about was (detail removed by moderator). I mean to be honest he was stood with a (detail removed by moderator) so yeah…I’d look at him funny. Now he just keeps asking random questions about the police or making comments about how he still finds it odd. The police have really handled it badly at the moment

    • #117472
      KIP.
      Participant

      Yes the police have handled it badly. It just shows he knows what he’s doing is illegal if he’s worried about them. Keep your mobile on you at all times fully charged and if you can plan a panic room I called my small bathroom. Somewhere you can block the door and ring the police from.

    • #117496
      Losingbattle
      Participant

      I was humming and arring all day today as to whether to tell police everything. And then he started. All because I refuse to clean up after him and make his dinner. He started shouting, calling me names telling me hes not leaving. And I need to go instead. Then saying if I go (detail removed by moderator) tell them I’m lying. He then started saying how I’m a (detail removed by moderator) cos he knows I got the police here. It’s made me more determined to speak openly with the police but also equally as scared

    • #117507
      KIP.
      Participant

      Yes it’s really scary talking to the police but that’s what he’s counting on. The more scary thing is years and years of his abuse and the damage it does to you all. I told the police everything and I’m so glad I did. He was removed and it gave me the space I needed to break totally free. I couldn’t do it on my own and needed their intervention. He won’t ever change but you can.

    • #117509
      Losingbattle
      Participant

      Oh I intend to make a massive change. Thanks to everyone for all the advice and support. And kip your advice on almost all my posts have been so helpful. If only I had took note the first time. I really couldn’t have come this far without the support of everyone on this forum. I know I’ve still a long way to go but I am forever grateful xx

    • #117532
      KIP.
      Participant

      💕

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